WELCOME BACK to de La-La Land Blog Column.
Mardi Grass the Russian Style, Jeans to Make Your Butt Even Sexier, Cyber Face of Your Future Special One, The Truth about Russian Steam Baths…and The Trip You'll Never Forget...
This and more in the column.
Editor’s Note:
I know, I know, it looked like I've abandoned you. The truth is that I missed my blog and no other site worth it. (And please stop sending angry emails – I’m back, baby!)
I love SPRING! It’s official. High 70s in LA and it never felt better to get my latte on a very sunny morning (I even forgot that it’s a work day.) The only thing I don’t like about the spring – cats; the mating season has begun and it feels right outside my window every night! Horny bastards! Like I need another reason to remind me that it’s not only cats who feel this way.
Spring also means, just a few more weeks and I’m done with school. And even though notorious LA parking is still making my schooling experience unpleasant in some ways, I look forward to have it all over with.
I really felt like I owe you good stories this time (not that the other times I didn’t work hard on my blog) but I really felt that I need to give this blog a thought. And as the material piled up, I ended up wit 20 pages of the blog, which I thought needs to be cut back, so I deleted the fetish article, the S&M article, the article on how to satisfy a guy, then I thought, what the hell – and I deleted all the articles that will only make those “cats” scream for more. But do not worry, apparently I have a lot of people asking me to address this or that issue in my blog and that’s what I’m going to do in my blog from now on. You give me a topic, I’d be happy to write and expand on it, but don’t expect me to write about all your dirty interests – keep it to your basement room.
Don’t worry, it’s still entertaining…and educational to some ways (I hope.)
In the News This Month…or Where Are We Going with This:
1. Oscar’s 80th Academy Awards – well, another year and another disappointment. My girlfriends and I savored each day before the awards, looking forward to funny and obnoxious MC. To see tributes and clips from movies, but it came and slapped us in the face with the dullness and colorless performances. After about 10 minutes into the show, tired of commercials and boring speeches, I started vacuuming my apartment, waiting for at least one good moment to remember this year’s Oscar’s for. And this sucker never came, not one good moment, except for just this one that made Oscar’s worthwhile. It’s when Daniel Day Lewis went backstage after winning the Oscar for press questions and when some smart ass asked him what he does in his spare time, his brilliant response was “Why that fuck you care?” I love the guy. Otherwise, everyone did not look happy to be there, only Jack Nicolson still pulls off his “Jack” thing of “I do not give a f&ck how I look and what I say, I’m still one of the best actors out there.” And I like it (re: The Bucket List.)
p.s. Celebrities could at least wear some ridiculous outfits to remember them by, but no, they all had to be perfect and dull!
2. Heather Ledger – this news has been delivered to me by my colleagues, the fans of the very LA gossip blog, http://perezhilton.com, who broke the news. Of course this guy, Perez Hilton, knows it first as far as the celebrities are concerned. It seems that he makes it a life time mission to be at the right place at the right time and he always is – but then again, by looking at him, I don’t see any other thing happening for him.
And what’s the saddest thing is, that Heather did not commit suicide, he probably didn’t even want to die. But he is dead. That makes me think, “Are they (celebrities) that happy?” They have money, they have power, they have status, they have fame…But is it what it makes one happy, if you have to battle insomnia and depression. And thanks to the American drug producers – the whole nation is hooked on some kind of drugs, from prosaic to ambient.
Sad, very sad – a promising actor dies so young on a foreign land.
For the tribute, visit:
Deadly cocktail - Here are the drugs found in Heath Ledger's body:
• Oxycodone -- narcotic/pain killer; trade names: OxyContin, Percodan
• Hydrocodone -- narcotic/pain killer; trade name (combined with acetaminophen): Vicodin
• Diazepam -- anti-anxiety drug; trade name: Valium
• Alprazolam -- anti-anxiety drug; trade name: Xanax
• Doxylamine -- sleep medication; trade name: Unisom
• Temazepam -- sleep medication; trade name: Restoril
The combination of drugs could cause the brain and brain stem to "fall asleep," halting heart and lung function. Sources: Dr. Gregory Davis, College of American Pathologists; Drugs.com
3. Starbucks – no one expected experience hard-reality withdrawal when Starbucks closed for a few hours on Feb. 26. I had to miss my java intake, and I needed it for my final exam session! Apparently, the management gathered baristas to discuss the new “policy” of the global coffee chain with the mojo to concentrate more on coffee and less on merchandise. Now you will have less choices for French press machines and mugs at the stores and lesser selection of the branded music (Sir Pal McCartney and Cheryl Crow, please look for other music publishers and promoters.)
In the morning I woke up to a 80-degree LA weather and drove to my work neighborhood, Brentwood, to get my latte and what I saw (and tell me if you had similar experience) – my local Starbucks smelled more coffee and they put up more bags of coffee to replace overwhelming quantity of mugs, candy boxes and other merchandise on its shelves. Coffee was everywhere, I even checked the restrooms. It was “blossoming” with coffee! But not all patrons were happy – Mr. Schultz is thinking about eliminating grilled/hot breakfast choices, like their famous egg and ham grilled cheese breakfast sandwich. Ouch!
If you think that it will still not help Starbucks to battle the war of coffee drinks with the upcoming McDonalds and Dunkin Donut’s, you are not alone. 85 percent of the online voters said that Starbucks’ new pledge to concentrate more on coffee and make perfect drinks will not make any boost to the overall company’s biz: BuzzDash on Starbucks.
4. Mardi Grass celebration – the Russian Style. Ladies, this year it looks like we’ll be making pancakes all week, including our “official” day off – The International Woman’s Day, March 8. This year it falls on the week of March 3-9. I’ll be definitely missing my mom’s and grandmas’ homemade pancakes, from thick to thin, from small to large, from sour to sweet ones, from dry to buttered up ones.
5. I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to keep a track of celebrities who are now becoming designers. And what is going on with this trend of children of the rich becoming designers? What is with the celebrity becoming designers?
Not that I don’t think J. Lo and Jessica Simpson are not talented, but paying $200 for Jessica’s boots and no less for a pair of big butt J. Lo pants – I really do not think so! Not that I’m questioning the craftsmanship (we all know where the factories are and who make our cloths, from Gucci to H&M brands) – but I’m questioning of how obnoxious one should be as to price cloths on the same level with the leading designers, who, by the way, did go to design schools and worked their butts off in their “design studios” in the basement of their parents’ house. That’s why, when I came face to face with the much-buzzed about new clothing and accessory line from Sarah Jessica Parker, I instantly started to respect her even more. She didn’t use her name to overprice her t-shirts and Bermuda shorts, but on the contrary, she made it available to everyone. And not only she priced it a mere of $8.99 for almost all items, but she actually bothered enough to use her “sex and the city” sense of fashion to create stylish items, from earrings and sunglasses to sleeping ware and pants suits.
I would also add to the list of “modest” celebrity-who-become-designers the following two gals: Kate Moss and Sienna Miller. Both make quality and stylish cloths. And they actually look nice in them too!
Yes, I might be biased (I’m still under the withdrawal and denial effect of Sex and the City cease to exist), but I’ve seen the brands from almost all celebrities and I’d say, I’d stick to my “unknown” designers’ work who make cloths for Zara and Mango, Victoria Secret and H&M. And if I really want to have a “name” in my closet, I’d rather go to a second-hand store and get the real Marc Jacobs and Prada.
p.s. I guess Hollywood’s salary of $ 5 to $10 million a film does not buy cereal and milk for Jennifer Lopez, Natalie Portman, Milla Javovich…
And here is my pick of the Prêt-a-Porter for the season…(by the way, you don’t have to wear it, but I will!)
Mardi Grass…or the Benefits of Having a Russian Mother-in-Law:
I pity all men, except for Russians who figured out where to be on the Mardi Grass day, who do not know the power (and benefits) of a “mother-in-law”. It is definitely a benefit when Mardi Grass comes around and your mother-in-law is around and she is actually Russian.
According to the Russian Mardi Grass celebration, on that day one needs to ride sledge, burn a woodman, which symbolizes the winter and visit your mother-in-law for pancakes.
Don’t’ ask me why, but it’s the Russian tradition. But there are other traditions to it: it’s believed that if you get married on this day, then your harvest would be rich (and they are actually talking about the harvest of vegetables and fruits, not the “baby-making” harvest.) On this day, according to the old celebration, a mother-in-law invites her son-in-law for pancakes and she should spread butter on his head so that he will be affectionate to her and butter up his wife. Of course, no one in good mind does that, but it’s a good tradition.
And makes sense: be good to the mother of your wife, so that your wife be good to you. Yes, baby, the pressure is on!
And on the last day of Mardi Grass (that lasts a week), one should ask forgiveness with everyone you are close to: family, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, mistresses, f-buddies…
For more on Russian Masleniza, visit
The Truth About Shopping for a Perfect Pair of Jeans…or Your Butt Has Never Looked So Good in Jeans
That denim goes as far back as 1700’s in France and England. In France (de)nim was gaining popularity as a fabric that was durable and comfortable and was worn by peasants and hard labor workers, while in Italy jean was being made into topcoats and fine trousers for working men not engaged in ‘manual labor’.
Don’t tell me you’ve never had this problem before, when you stood in front of a rack with layers and hangers of jeans in a dozen different styles. Don’t tell me that you’ve never grabbed all of them (just to see if any of them fit) and spent hours going back and forth between a mirror and a fitting room and at the end of the “torturous fitting procedure” left the store empty-handed? What it all comes down to is that you and I have been in the same situation and not once. Neither a wash (a.k.a. jeans color), nor a length, or a brand matters when your butt does not look superb, on all perfect “10” – that is – on a scale “1 to 5.”
If it was as simple as choosing a jeans by a wash and/or a length, a pocket and a belt line – we’d be wearing any brand from H&M and Victoria Secret (from $29 to $59) to steep-priced ones, Rock and Republic and 7 for All Mankind (from $159 to $220.) But it is not as simple.
Let me guess, when you try on the jeans, first thing you do is to turn around a look how your butt looks in the jeans. Of course, only THEN, after you are satisfied with the “butt look”, you look and evaluate the way your abs, legs and waist line look and fit and some of us even do a few 101 aerobic exercises inside a fitting room, bending forward and backward, doing lunges and even squats. Of course we do it.
We are buying more than just a denim cloth – we are buying the lifestyle, personality – and most importantly – our sex life, because there is nothing like a hot pair of jeans that makes the most unflattering butt – the sexiest rear alive – a free door ticket to the hot and sexy LA scene.
And there is almost impossible to disagree that absolutely anything goes with the jeans – from Dishdash to Kimono and in absolutely any location, from the Amazon forest to the Goa beach. It is a must-have cloth at all age, gender and body complexity.
I thought it was just me, who rated “butt-fitting” as the most important influence factor in the shopping process for jeans, but the more I thought about it and the more I observed – I was finally able to confirm that I was far from being unique and particular in my “jeans shopping” and “jeans behavior” – we all do it - men and women. What a shocker!
Just the other day I was browsing through a rack of “one-of-a-kind” jeans at a second-hand (very LA happening “best kept secret” place) store, Crossroads Trading Co., when I came across only one pair in each of: Levi’s, 7 for All Mankind, Citizen of Humanity, Rock & Republic, Diesel, Pepper Denim and even digged out a pair of limited edition by Victoria Bekham and Gucci, which I thought were for either a 13-year-old boy or a 10-year-old girl who has not yet developed in a woman with curves. I happily vibrated into a fitting room savoring the moment of finding the perfect “butt” jeans at the same time as a good-looking gay couple was trying jeans. Then I heard the following conversation: “Let me see, let me see how your butt looks in this pair of jeans. Um, no, your butt looks sexier in the jeans you tried before. It looks more firm and defined.” “I like these ones. My butt looks super. And I like how the pockets “sit” on my buttocks. Very sexy, baby.”
I could not help but feeling this “coming-of-a-jeans-closet” connection with the couple. So, not thinking any further, I put dark-wash Pepper Denim on and said to the couple: “Couldn’t help to overhear you. Can you tell me if I picked the right pair?” They said: “Turn around….”
At that particular moment, I knew that our “shopping patters” were the same. I knew that whatever jeans I’d get right now – my butt will look more than ok, it will look fabulous.
West Hollywood “jeans” locations (just please leave some jeans for me at the Crossroads International – they only come in one pair, in one size and in one color):
Crossroads Trading Company 8315 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood, CA, 90069
James Perse 8914 Melrose Avenue, West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Marc by Marc Jacobs 8410 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA, 90069
American Apparel 802 North San Vicente Blvd. West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Calypso On Sunset 8635 W Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Tracey Ross Clothing Boutique 8595 W Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Alpha 8625 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA, 90069
Photo by TeeRish and Aphasiafilms, Flickr
Sex & Love: Why Online Dating Appeals…or Cyber Face of Your Future Special One:
“Online dating sucks,” almost screamed in anger my close male friend at the recent get-together dinner in San Francisco. I told him he was not alone. There are more than 850 dating sites and more 40 million people use it. Scary, you’d think? Not really, more like – it’s sad that we, human beings feel the need to be online to find a person we want to date. Have we become to busy to go outside and meet a living and breathing real person? I hear all the time that so and so uses online dating because he or she has no time because of work. And it seems to be the main reason, but if you have time to be online, don’t you have time to go out? Libraries, book stores, house parties, movie theatres, galleries, museums, coffee shops? Even asking a friend to hook you up with someone they might know is a bit more human than trusting the picture and description on the internet.
According to my own experience and experience of at least 20 of my friends, in 99 percent of the time, the online profile of a person is nothing like real person: physically and intellectually. But we suck it in and go on another date from the cyber world.
With so many sites, including the most advertised and, thus, popular ones, AmericanSingles, eHarmony, Match, JDate, LavaLife and Date.com. Each one of them promises to find you a perfect partner (define perfect, please), they promise to find you true love (hello urban myth) and a life “happily ever after”. They call themselves perfect (PerfectMatch) and they call themselves friendly (AdultFriendFinder.)
IT seems like a wide pool of women and men to choose from – at least more than I can count at my gym I go to, but why I’ve known of no success stories? I came to the conclusion – it is an urban myth that we, actually, choose to believe. Dating services send us a promising message and a hope and we fall for it as we fall for the “Hollywood kiss and love making,” which also does not exist in real life.
Just look at the slogans:
AmericanSingles.com = Where People Connect
Match.com - Someone You Can Love is Nearby (and they also call themselves a leader and guarantee to return your money if you don’t find a boyfriend/girlfriend in 6 months)
LavaLife.com – Where Singles Meet. Sexy Singles
JDate.com - Meet Jewish singles in your area for dating and romance
Date.com - Don’t Let Love Pass By
eHarmony - Find your Soul Mate and #1 Trusted Relationship (they also swear that have an average of 90 members getting married per day – I want to see it for myself!)
And besides the mainstream sites, there are very specific sites based on religion, culture, interests and financial status, from JDate (Jewish Dating site) to SugarDaddie (and you wondered where you meet one) – and that’s just a drop in the ocean of the dating possibilities online.
The question is, why it appeals to us and why we do it? I don’t know a single person who has not done online dating sites. Five years ago it was embarrassing to even admit it, but now it’s almost like buying groceries from DirectFresh.com – it’s just another topic to discuss with coworkers over coffee and a bagel. The sad thing is the routine of the daily “schedule” – we come home, we shower, we eat and then we get online to search and chat with potential “special ones.”
I’ve done it too, why deny it and pretend to be “cool” (one of the 40 million that didn’t do?). And I’ve had my share of freaks (or to be politically correct – oddly unique men.) At the end of the day I just accepted my online experience as another experience (and a good topic to write about in the future.) I look back, and no regrets (my girlfriends and I still share the stories over martinis) and I smile – something to tell my grandchildren.
Would I do it again? No! And no new site, no new slogan, no free trial membership, no gorgeous pictures of the men in ads would ever attract me to it. Why? Simply – as much as I’m a busy individual and my professional life extends beyond a 9-hour work day – there are still ways to meet a person in real, not a digital representation of a person, airbrushed in Photoshop and described a friend, a fiction writing student.
Never underestimate the power of first glance, touch, smell and feel. Where one can be funny and smart online, can end up dull and dumb in life (based on true events.) And where one can be an average looking and shy online, can end up to be a not-a-photogenic type and not an online converser, but rather a charming, witty and talkative person in person. And I am not taking my chances, disregarding good men and falling for the online “charmers. Besides, did not the news and films, at least, taught us not to trust online dating in the time of some many sexual perverts, mental cases and quiet maniacs logged in online searching for the next victim.
You think I’m pointing fingers at you, but I’m not. I blame technology and pace of life. It makes me think, what did men and women do in 17th, 18th, 19th and 20th centuries? What Bronte’s and Dickens’s generation did to meet special ones? I guess they just had to attend events and mingle among people to meet with other men and women. And we still have these live events, from concerts to gallery openings, from lounges to sport nights at bars, from marathons to laptop sessions at Starbucks – not to mention martial arts and spinning classes at your neighborhood gym.
We blame our work for having no time to meet people, but you make your own priorities – be it a night with internet or a night at a museum reception? There is always personal time and sometimes, especially, when your clock is ticking, go to see an exhibition at a local gallery instead of playing golf with your client on a Saturday afternoon. Your client won’t be the one who will make you happy at the end of the day – he/she would not be the one who’d cuddle with you, share a warm apple pie and watch Sopranos.
P.S. If you think you are the only person in your group of friends, at work or at home who does online dating, perhaps a few stats will make you feel better (perhaps you are just one of those rare ones who actually want to find a normal good person somewhere in the world where the Internet reaches to)
To me, this 63 percent figure was a revelation. I always knew dating was a numbers game, but I'd never thought to take that saying literally. But as I continued browsing through my guy's extensive, factoid-heavy book collection, I realized that there were statistics confirming just about every dating phenomenon I'd ever experienced. So why not let the statistics guide you in your search for a lasting love? With that in mind, I put together a list of 10 factoids every single person should know:
1. 44 percent of adult Americans are single, according to U.S. Census figures. This means there are over 100 million unattached folks out there. So, if you've ever worried, "There's nobody out there for me," know that there's hope!
2. Statistically, the find-someone odds favor guys: There are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women, although in some regions the gender ratio favors women, especially out west. Paradise, Nevada, a suburb 10 miles from Las Vegas, has 118 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women. Other cities where gals got it good include Austin, Texas; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; Tempe, Arizona; and Sunnyvale and Santa Ana, California. A coincidental bonus for women thinking of relocating: All of these cities are sunny and warm.
3. The best place for single people on the prowl is New York, where 50 percent of state residents are unmarried, and Washington, D.C., where a whopping 70 percent of the population is single. The worst places are Idaho, where 60 percent of people are married; and Utah, where 59 percent of people are married.
4. Think you'll find love while perched on a barstool? Think again. Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men say they've found a relationship at a bar or club—blame it on the beer goggles. So if you're lonely and looking, you're better off hitting on cuties at Starbucks. 5. Got someone hot in your sights and want to reveal your interest? Fifty-one percent of people use flattery, according to the book Are You Normal About Sex, Love, and Relationships? Or, try touching them, a tactic used by 25 percent of single folk. Still another 23 percent utilize the schoolyard approach and send the word out through a friend.
6. If you're into online dating, you're hardly alone: 40 million Americans use online dating services; that's about 40 percent of our entire U.S. single-people pool. So if you haven't tried it yet, maybe it's time to dive in!
7. Profiles and photos go together great. Online, being bashful will get you nowhere. Women and men who post their photos receive more than twice as many emails as those without photos, according to a study published by economists at MIT and University of Chicago. Some numbers! 8. On a date, first impressions do count: Men take only 15 minutes to decide if a woman is worth a second date. For women, the clock isn't ticking quite so fast—they ponder whether to get together again for an hour or so.
9. The number one problem for couples in America? Disagreements about money, according to a poll by the University of Denver. So, don't write off a date just because you two bickered over the dinner bill; everyone clashes over cash.
10. If you're feeling like your relationship is hitting the skids and want to bail, the painful face-to-face approach might not be necessary: An estimated 48 percent of online daters report that their breakups have happened over email. Call it rude or just plain convenient, but it happens a lot.
Photo by
d70focus, Flickr
le Cinema. Cinema Truth:
27 Dresses
Having seen enough depressing movies, I’ve decided to leave my handkerchief at home and see an upbeat (a bit unrealistic, but sweetly encouraging) chick flick – 27 Dresses.
I put on my sweats, Ugg boots and ignored make up. Who were I kidding, it was not a night to dress and impress. It was a night to spend with myself and only myself.
In the role of Jane, Katherine Heigl, the once small TV screen actress from “Grey’s Anatomy” impressed me with her first leading lady role on the big screen. She was not a disappointment, as I expected based on my own preconceived notions after watching the preview. On the contrary, Katherine was rather refreshing and I’d even dare say – her performance was as good as the one of a two-time Oscar’s winner, Hilary Swank, in PS. I Love You. I’d give a high-five to Anne Fletcher for hiring Heigl for the role. She was natural, believable and funny while still dramatic (similar to Jennifer Aniston? - you get the point.)
I’d like to see more of such naturally talented and girl-next door actresses in Hollywood who have no daddies, mommies, uncles, aunts and a name legacies in Hollywood (I still prefer Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron to Kate Hudson and Colin Hanks.)
27 Dresses is a sweet story about a young woman who lived to make other people’s weddings the most special and memorable day in their lives; from flower arrangements to holding a bride’s dress while a bride pees. Very impressive. I never knew you can hire someone to do that. (I’ll stick to my own abilities to pee on my wedding day, though!)
However, that’s not the point. Madly in love with her boss, George (Edwards Burns), and making everyone else happy and comfortable, but herself, Heigl’s character disregards her own needs to be happy until she meets a handsome writer from New York Journal, played by James Marsden (Hairspray). I won’t tell you what happens, so that I don’t spoil the ending, (although how could one go wrong with a typical ever-lasting Hollywood happy ending?) But I’ll still omit the cute couple Ebert & Roeper’s comments and just say go see it.
Moreover, I was pleasantly surprised to see quite a few single guy groups (no girls attached) in the auditorium on a Friday night. Maybe they confused this theatre for the next down the hall with There is no Blood screening or maybe deep down, admitting it or not, men can still be romantic to the point of believing that cheesy romance and marriage do exist. Even in Los Angeles!
Semi-Pro
Well, after a long list of films to see around LA, from silent movies with Charlie Chaplin to a great collection of foreign important, I decided that on this particular night, I did not need any intellectual films and I did not feel like watching a movie without sound, so I picked the film I’d never watch otherwise, except that I love Will Farrell. Farrell plays a promo guy, who is responsible for filling up the house for the game, and you can only imagine what he is capable of coming up with.
Semi-Pro was disappointing. Aside from a few funny moments, which Will is very famous for, a movie about basketball does not do it for me. I don’t like basketball, so please don’t hate me. And I expected to see more humor. Every single actor was great, but the theme of the movie, winning a local game, was not satisfying enough. So, I say, unless you have absolutely no other choices for a movie or you are stuck on an island with nothing but a TV with a Semi-Pro replay, then do not go to see this movie. Watch Farrell in other movies, and there are more to come. This guy is on a roll!
Atonement
Yeah, yeah, yeah – it was nominated in multiple categories at the Oscar’s, but I do not see why. I tried to find a reason – why? Why would it be nominated? It’s one of those romance-war movies, nothing special about it. Yes, it’s tragic. Yes, at some moments – good light, good camera angle, good costumes…but overall – it’s dull. I could not believe that I’d actually fall asleep watching a so-called drama movie with good acting, but I almost did.
I’d say, English Patient – yes, that’s drama. Atonement – I’d say, keep it in the drama section of the Blockbuster. But then, again, that’s just my humble opinion.
Btw, what was that all about the awkward love-making scene in the library? I really like my movie characters to finish the business (like they did in the English Patient.)
p.s. I’d rather re-watch Wuthering Heights.
The Russian Bania…or the “S&M” Side of the Russian Steam Bath and Why We Love It
Those foreigners always had a wrong idea about Russian Steam and Sauna rooms. They think that Russians are a bunch of sadists and masochists, otherwise – how would you explain the wood branches the sauna patrons use to first heat up to the point when you can smell the wood evaporations and then use the heated branches to slap and beat all body up and down. And what amazes the non-Russians is the fact that Russians actually like the experience and beg for more.
But in Russia, bania, from long time ago, was a place not to just come to chill and detox, but it was a place to cure – if you are sick with a cold, your parents bring you to bania. If you are missing your period – you come to bania to help the blood flows. If you are with a very bad hangover – you come to bania to steam out the rest of the alcohol out of the system and clear the pores.
While Russian Bania (steam baths /sauna rooms) are still a mystery to the Americans, in Europe, during the 19th century, Russia and her steam bath were greeted with romance and intrigue. Europeans were amazed with the bathing habits of the Russians.
France and Germany were the most interested parties in Russian bania. French – on a weaker side, as they were upset about Napoleon loosing to Russians. But Germans, on the other hand, embraced Russian banias. When Russians troops occupied Germany, of course they could not live without having their beloved banias, so they built them in short time. The first public bania was opened in Berlin in 1818. The King of Prussia said after visiting this bath, "The Russian people are supposed to be strong and healthy, and for that reason, I am sure that the dampbad (referring to the bania) is of benefit."
The concept of the Russian bath spread quickly. Soon after the Berlin bath was opened the first bania, the rumors of “magic” medical power of bania spread out and within 10 years, the Russian bath appeared in more than twenty German cities, as well as Lyon, Paris, Vienna, and Prague.
In America, the first Russian banias appeared after large immigration wave in 1930. First places opened in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco--wherever a high concentration of relocated Russian peasants existed.
Most often, Turkish baths like to host Russian baths, but I think it’s because Turkish men like Easter European women (I might be wrong, so don’t send me angry emails. I’m just guessing…)
All in all, to make my point, Russian bania invaded America and it’s now to stay.
In case you are in LA, you can find the closest replica to Russian bania at:
Voda Spa
7700 Santa Monica BlvdWest Hollywood, CA 90046(323) 654-4411
If you happen to be in New York, Spa 88 is the most beloved among the Russians:
Spa 88
88 Fulton StNew York, NY 10038(212) 766-8600
le Voyage. Travel with style…and a little bit of wit: “Better to see once than to hear a hundred times.”
For years Russians used to say, “Better to see once than to hear a hundred times.” They always knew that one of the places worth seeing was the capital of their country - Moscow, the heart of Russia.
They welcome you to visit the country, where “War and Peace” was written and tsars ruled, where a revolution has taken place and democracy replaced communism, and where the best rye bread is baked and the famous caviar is produced. Of course, it will take you not a day, not even a year to explore enough of Russia, but to see a bit of everything – Moscow is the place.A city of contrasts, Moscow’s architecture represents every period of Moscow’s development from the 12th century to the present. In the daytime the city will introduce you to its famous museums, like The Pushkin Art Museum of Fine Art with a broad selection of European works, and to its famous galleries, like The Tretyakovsky Gallery, where masterpieces of Russian artists are represented in the 60 halls of the building. It will take you more than a day to see it all!
Whoever you might ask, would most certainly suggest seeing the Kremlin. Standing on the Red Square, another familiar name, and looking at the Kremlin wall and the Mausoleum, The Kremlin appears to be a town of its own. Behind its walls one can find the Archangel Cathedral, the royal burial place. Its interior has gold icons of such rare beauty that no pictures are allowed to be taken inside, and only in your memory the vision of it will stay forever. In front of the Kremlin, close to the Eternal Fire of Glory, which is never fading away in honor to the unknown soldiers of the World War II, one of the most beautiful places in Moscow is the Manezhnaya Square - the “Russian Venice,” one of the favorite places for tourists and for local love birds. The square not only offers the largest and the only one in the world underground mall with the most famous boutiques, but the square also offers space for rollerblading, for dinning out at many open cafes and many shady places to relax and enjoy famous Russian ice-cream sold out of little carriages around the square.
To get to the downtown of Moscow, one only need to take a few main streets down away from the Red Square that lead to the downtown. On of them is Tverskaya street, which gathers the bulk of the visitors in Moscow. Not only it is famous for celebrity sightseeing, famous Eleseyvsky grocery story, which used to belong to one of the richest merchandiser family in the 19th Century and boutiques. It gathers the most fashionable crowd because only a few feet away one can find theatrical districts, the largest cinema building and a few park alleys. The streets in and around the Tverskaya streets reveals 19th century palaces and 1930’s apartment blocks with European and national stores, cafes and restaurants, it is also a street where many celebrities have chosen to live and mingle among ordinary people.
Among other famous Moscow streets are Old and New Arbat, one famous of numerous Casino and Sex Shops and one another is famous for the oldest street art district, and Kutuzov Avenue. The Old Arbat is famous for its street artists and cafes, and is a place to meet people; the other is famous for its Triumph Arc and the “Kneeling Hill”, built in honor of all the victims of the World War II, also a place for live concerts and the suicidal rollerbladers and skaters, who take advantage of marble floors and stairs.
If one is tired of walking? One does not have to be! Moscow is one of those rare cities that offer all kinds of public transportation one can think of - buses, trolleybuses, streetcars, taxis, and the Metro are offered for your convenience. The latter one, the Metro system, reflects the city’s street patterns and is known for the elaborate architecture of its stations, which were built during Stalin’s era by prisoners. It has more chandeliers than the Buckingham Palace, and more marble than in the whole of Russia. The Moscow Subway permanently became one of the treasures and landscapes mentioned in the guidebooks as a must-see place.
Cross yourself three times and say “Amen”, when you are present at a mess service in an Orthodox Church during prayers. Beautiful onion-shaped churches and cathedrals are keeping the sacred spirit in their unique icons and rituals. Some of them are dated back to the 14th Century and to the beginning of Moscow, when Tatars were invading Moscow lands and Knight Vladimir was protecting the lands from the Muslims. At that time, the most beautiful icons were created by Andrey Rublev, whose art works are now on display in New York, London, Paris, and Rome, among many other world cultured places.
If that is not enough of a reason for you to visit Moscow, then perhaps one does not want to miss the city of always growing in numbers - theatres, music, and nightlife. It has been Bolshoi (Great) Theatre, where the “Swan Lake by the Russian composer Pytor Ilyich Tchaikovsky was first performed, and The Moscow Art Theatre (MHAT) where Anton Chekhov introduced the acting world to the Method. - the Method acting that soon was adapted by Mikhael Chekhov who carried on the brother’s legacy to the east banks of the United States and who taught famous American acting teacher, Lee Strasberg, in New York. Lee Strasberg later trained the likes of Marlon Brando, Kirk Douglas, Merlyn Monroe, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep, whose remarkable performance we have been enjoying until this day.
What mega city can be called mega if it did not offer exciting “forget-your-shoes-on-the-dance-floor” and “hot-kiss-exchange-between-the-strangers-in-the-bathroom” kind of nightlife? Check out the bars and clubs, about hundreds of them in the city - to dance to popular European and Russian dance music, see live performances of local and European bands, and to taste the drinks and hors-d’ouvres of Russian specials, such as smoked osetrina with the finest black caviar. The most famous and oldest clubs are Utopia, Meteliza, Propaganda and Pilot. But the new ones are multiplying like fruit flies, so it is a good idea to ask a local about some choices.You may also want to consider the Russian dress code! One can get uneasy if one is inspected for long by some bystander, especially if one wears one of these items: a baseball cap, sandals, shorts, and a backpack. Do not worry – the Russian can spot an American from miles away because Moscow follows the European fashion and none of those items are in anyone’s wardrobe; one will see women in high heals and men – in trousers and nice shoes, not only for special occasions. Sport clothes are worn rarely in the Russian society, unless one is being in a sport club, jogging, or working in a summer-house (dacha) garden.
Not to overwhelm the tourist-to-be, I will stop here and mention the last, but not the least detail. Always have your passport with you, all the maps can be bought at kiosks everywhere in Moscow, and have a speaking guide, even though one out of two people would know English well enough to answer your questions.
Just remember it is a one-time life experience you will never forget!
WELCOME BACK to de La-La Land Blog Column.
Putin The Person of the Year, Andrew Morton’s Book Mortifies Tom Cruise, Winter Lucky, The Secret of Boy Briefs, How Thick is Your Sugar Daddy’s Wallet…and
The Big Announcement (no…I’m not married yet!)
Editor’s Note:
Can you believe it is mid January? And I’ve officially joined my friends’ “30, young and fabulous” club (are you happy now, bitches?) But, of course, I love all my girls: Ilona, Lisa, Melissa, Anuta, Inna, Irishka, Aijanka, Olga, Nadya, Georgina, Val, Monique - dearly and nothing is as fun as waking up the next day having exactly the same headache after a night of endless martinis, cosmos and rum Malibu as your 30s-year-old girlfriends.
I just realized that I have not really felt the winter yet, except for those few nights when my heater was not working and Pacific winds came right through the thin Californian walls of my apartment. If it was not for my grandma’s wool socks (I think she used old-style Siberian dog hair,) UGG boots and three layers of comforters, I wouldn’t be writing this blog right now (even my cat looked miserable.) But LA weather is back on track with pleasantly warm 50s and 60s with occasional fogs, which only bother me when I look through my telescope.
On the other note, I am back in school for the winter term and let me tell, I really dig being on campus. It reminds me of those restless, clueless and free-from-responsibilities days. The unexplainable thing is that we want to finish the school quick when at school and when we leave school, we want to return to school. It’s like a relationship, we take it for granted when it’s around and we miss it when it’s gone.
As much as I hate doing this to you, knowing how much you love my blog and how many times a day you re-read the parts on sex trying to figure out if and where there is any of me in the story, but I started to cheat on my…blog (sh sh sh...)
My big announcement is that I’m now a staff writer for a very cool and hip and very happening LA website,
http://www.la.cityzine.com/ (please send your presents and cards of congratulations to my home address…) I thought my blog audience should be less selfish and share the good. So from now on, what I do not cover in the blog, you will see it on the site. Check regularly as my schedule is throughout the week. Besides, the website writers are an awesome team of local hipsters and cultural addicts who will deliver to you the best (especially if you are going to visit the la la land…)
To check out my articles on LA.Cityzine, go to:
And on my end note, I love you all. I miss you, who I do not see often. And I’m getting annoyed from the ones I see all the time! Happy New Year 2008 to you all! Be healthy, merry, successful, fulfilled, challenged, adventurous, loved, respected, cared for, looked up to and insanely childish!
P.S. This issue is packed with graphics; no animals, children and men were hurt during the download of my pictures. And as always, don’t hesitate to express your opinion and share your thoughts with me (just please, stop asking me to be your sugar mom, AK…you know who you are!)
In the News…or Where Are We Going with This:
1. No Global Awards? What the f&*^$, I bought my popcorn, loaded my fridge on Ben & Jerry and told my friends to not bother me on Sunday 15th, from 8 to 11pm; all calls will be dismissed. But instead, to make us (and by us I mean the eager LA crowd, who have wait for award ceremonies like it’s the end of the world) watch re-runs of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Snoop Dogg's Father Hood. As much as I appreciate Kim's voluptuous bottom (J. Lo - you’ve got some serious competition, so hurry up with the baby, you might beat Kim with a post-pregnant arse), I would rather see Jack Nickolson and Nicole Kidman and ridiculously expensive dresses and jewelry that put my H&M blinks to shame.
2. Andrew Morton didn’t wait long since his last sensation – the biography on Lady D (Princess Diane) that shocked the world (and made Queen Elizabeth shrink down even more.) He chose the next target and it was not in Europe, but in USA – the infamous Mr. Cruise and his passion for Scientology, insane public display of his love to Katy and the very bad sales from his last few movies – but his smile is still bright and shiny, which tells me his dentist is still employed. The book apparently talks about all his marriages, affairs, friends and his obsession with Scientology and whether Suri might not be his daughter. Me, personally, I think Nicole Kidman is much better off without Cruise.
3. TIME magazine names the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, Person of the Year. Hm, what were the criteria again? I’ve read the article, interesting – the editors almost understood the current situation in Russia. I said, almost because as the Russians say themselves “Russia cannot be understood with a mind.” TIME actually made a trip to Russia and filmed a most obscure strange video of some Russian taxi driver running around and looking for a perfect apple for the Time’s team. This is obviously THE ONLY thing to show about Russia, don’t mind the culture and people of the country. Yes, it did make the Russians proud of the president, on one hand, but at the same time from the article we did get the reason why we still get the stereotype of “vodka, red caviar, snowy winters and free-running bears on streets.”
4. Oct. 29 – Feb. 11, Takashi Murakami has arrived to the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles with a number of very unique arts of various mediums and his well-known works And Then, And Then, My Lonesome Cowboy, DOB in the Strange Forest, Inochi, and his other famous works. For more information on the exhibition, visit:
http://www.moca.org/murakami
And if you want to know who he is, google him up.
P.S. you might have seen the customized LV bags around the metro areas with mini arts of his design works. Nicky Hilton has got one (and unfortunately she is more covered in news that such talented artists like Murakami. Media, shame on you!)
Boy Briefs vs. Thongs…or What Turns Him On?
Courtesy of Victoria Secret
I recently realized that my institution and secret love for boy’s briefs is actually shared with not only my girlfriends, but with my guy friends. On a recent visit of my friend from the east coast, we did some shopping and I convinced him to get briefs for his wife, and my friend. She told me later that it’s the first time she actually had the right size and the right lingerie! I felt happy to spread the goodness of the bedroom.
Now, according to my informal poll among my guy friends (and I must say – the poll expanded globally and reached my audience in Italy, France, Russia, Netherlands, Canada and UK) – the men AND the guys apparently find briefs much sexier than thongs and bikini and I applaud them! There is no reason a girl should suffer and get blisters in the crack of her butt, not to say that not all butts are perfect, so you might not want to expose the buttocks anyway. Unless you are Heidi Klum and Gisele, I say, boy briefs and shorts are a must, but for some of us – it’s plainly sexy. Yes, sexy, even though only 11 percent of the voters on BuzzDash.com said they wear briefs, most (45 percent) still prefer thongs (which I like too, but still – leave the mystery of the shape of your butt to the man…):
You can access this poll by clicking on the link below:
“Women: What style of underwear do you wear most often?”The appeal of thongs is only one – no panty line. I guess some girls like it when no lines are shown through pants and skirts, but who would have thought that a woman goes commando anyway? We all know we wear underwear under our cloths, for the most part at least.
So, girls – boys briefs rule! And if your man likes it, get some more – they are on sale right now at
http://www.victoriasecret.com/. Hurry, before those fashionable and fabulous bitches in UK, Russia and France swap them away from under your nose.
The New Girls of Super Rich…or Shopping Cool with a Sugar-Dad’s Visa Card
Meet Oksana Robski, Kseniya Sobchak, Dasha Zhukova, Zhanna Friske. They are young, gorgeous, and extremely savvy in ways to find a riche Russian with a thick wallet, and most of the times – with a big belly man. They serve no purpose, but they make us believe they do, especially when all of the sudden they become writers (with no literature education and talent) or pop singers (with no musical ear, but with a very close connection with a recording studio) or a designer or a TV anchor.
They are ridiculously wealthy, by means of their fathers, boyfriends, or married lovers. They date politicians, oil magnates and the likes. The new revolution of luxury – the post-Soviet glamour is all about labels and these girls are on a mission to prove that Russians are the biggest and best luxury consumers on the planet.
Russian daughters, girlfriends and lovers of the Russia’s nouveaux riches who live in Europe and USA are proud to be Russian but they also reject to be stereotyped against all the negative views and opinions of Russians. They refuse to be vulgar; but unfortunately, most of the times – they are. Most of the rich Russian girls are based in London, New York and Los Angeles and they constantly travel through Miami, Paris, Milan and Moscow. Most of them speak good English, prefer Top Shop to Gucci, but do not pass by the sales in Saks Fifth Avenue and Bergdoff Goodman. They try to redefine Russian style against post-Soviet fascination with flashiness; think – labels, labels, labels. The girls who are based in Moscow, about two kilometers from Moscow in Rublevka luxury village, are still battling the deprivation and dream for flashy stuff, having been raised in the country with gray paper used to wrap everything from a piece of sausage at a grocery story to an expensive perfume at a shop. They are still fascinated with diamonds, logos and head-to-toe complete look of designer’s cloths. And they can’t seem to make a comeback and do a makeover. Channel, Ralph Lauren and Donna Karen are all present in Russia and they all agree that Russia is a country with a long history for a great sense of style and appreciation of luxury, which they savor piece to piece”.
These girls are desperate to feature on Moscow's best-dressed list. They want to “speak” Russian haute couture. And unfortunately too many young Russian girls look up to these socialites that change rich lovers so often that even weekly tabloids miss the news. The only problem is that there are not many girls who can afford the same look and the same lifestyle, most just don’t want to settle with an old fat married mogul just to shop at Louis Vuitton.
But afford it or not, Russian women still shop. This is a typical attitude in today's Russia: that Russians deserve and appreciate the finer things in life. Women are at the forefront of this. Rich and poor alike - are so impossibly glamorous. It’s explained easily, and men will understand me the same way as I understand why so many men, Russian and foreign, love Russia (I bet it’s not for the Winter Palace…) Here are a few figures for you: there is a huge demographic crisis in Russia - 10 million more women in the population than men. (You are counting the ratio now and making arrangements to quit your job and move to Russia?) This is a longstanding problem: many men died in the Soviet wars. Men are almost rare specie and women are willing to settle with just any: bold, fat, bad teeth, bad BO – even married men are very appealing.
So where do young girls get money for a never-ending shopping spree in Russia and what is the fascination with the labels? It’s simple, oil – it has got a good price at the moment. Young people earn good Western salaries and they choose to spend their money on luxury: they are quite happy to live with their parents and grandparents with no rent and at the same time drive a Lexus and talk on Vertu. I know of one person who loaned $6,000 from a bank just to buy Vertu.
Russian elite and the girls of the nouveaux Russian riches vary from looking trashy (think Paris Hilton on occasions) to looking sophisticated, but for the most part, all of them are not modest in their lifestyle and looks. Personally, I wish they looked more classy with less make up and less skin exposure.The latest fascination with these girls is home chefs in French maid’s uniform and Thai women imported to serve as live-in housekeepers. They prefer to drink green tea out of Fabergé china and drive Bentley (and I’m still talking about women, not men!) They expect expensive gifts from their lovers, including their investment in their career boost and when they run of his money spent on their music videos, films roles, show participation and numerous trips between Milan, Paris, New York and Moscow, they move on to the next target. Whatever works for ya, girl. That’s what I think, but I’d rather keep my decency.
The Life I Want to Have…or What They Say About Cats?
Ancient mariners believed that a cat's behavior could foretell a change in the weather. Some sailors considered black cats unlucky since they were thought to bring bad weather. Tortoiseshell cats were often held by seafarers to be lucky and Japanese sailors in particular would carry a tri-colored cat aboard. They believed that such a cat could give early enough warning of an approaching storm for the vessel to return to port to avoid it, and would also send the cat up the mast to "put the storm devils to flight".
The ancient Egyptians revered cats as sacred beings. How could they have known that they were setting such a dangerous precedent? (Strange But True: Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows to mourn the deaths of their cats.) The small African wildcat found an easy and abundant food supply in the mice and rodents attacking the Egyptian grain supplies. Since the cat did not eat the grain itself, and buried its droppings well away from both the food source and the people, Egyptians began leaving small treats out for the cats to encourage them to return. By the time of the Pharaohs, cats were an integral part of society, prized not only for keeping the grain supply intact, but for their companionship.
There is a story that once Buddha held all the animals and men in rapt attention during his teachings. All, that is, except the cat. The cat killed a mouse during this session, and ever since some monks considered the cat an unholy being. Still, there is a tradition in some places in Asia that when a monk dies, his soul is given to a cat for safekeeping until the Lord Vishnu calls the cat.
And some of my favorite quotes by famous people:
“Cats always know whether people like or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it.” -- Winifred Carrière
“A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.” -- Jean Burden
“Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” -- Mark Twain
“It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that, whatever you say to them they always purr.” -- Lewis Carroll
“What greater gift than the love of a cat?” -- Charles Dickens
“Sometimes the veil between human and animal intelligence wears very thin -- then one experiences the supreme thrill of keeping a cat, or perhaps allowing oneself to be owned by a cat.” -- Catherine Manley, English writer
“I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women.” -- John Simon
French Mother-in-Law…or the Peculiarities of the French.
The 15 things you did not know about France and French:
1. The time that French dread the most is the Christmas time shopping and the reason is one – no parking available at almost any malls. French come to the malls before the doors are open to secure any available parking lot. Sundays are off for all businesses; the only places that are open in Paris are the touristy ones – like the Champs de Elysees. Thanks to the tourists, French can buy their milk and stamps on the Champs de Elysees.
2. Why have a freezer if you can do as French do – store your groceries in a car!
3. French recycle and save. And the secret behind the energy saving? Simple – don’t open the subway doors, let each passenger to open individual doors if they do have to get on and/or get off. Just before you exit the room, turn off the lights and make your way further in the dark – you will get used to moving in the dark pretty soon. Turn on the heating only if you seriously can already see your breath in the living room.
4. For the layers and layers of dust in the house, blame the “dirty” city, like French do blame Paris for all the dirt and dust on the bookshelves and kitchen tables in the house. They never assume that the dust is removable with a cleaning solution and a sponge!
5. Not a Sunday goes by without a baget.
6. Never assume you really, really understand the menu. It might look like chicken bits in your le salade, but actually it is the “intimate parts” of a rooster. Yum!
7. Even if you try to speak French to French, they switch to English instantly, not for the sake to practice their English with you, but more as to give you a hint – “Don’t even try to speak our language, you comprehend it not.”
8. Don’t be surprised if an Arab selling roasted chestnuts on the street of Paris speaks perfect Russian and/or English and/or Spanish to you. Just make sure you understand the difference between “deux” and “trois” (“2” and “3” Euro.)
9. If you present yourself as a Russian, do expect that French waiters would assume that you are a striptease dancer. Try to prove them wrong – it only amuses them.
10. It is always refreshing to see Robin Williams, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts speak fluent flawless French. (Thanks to great dubbing job of the French cinema industry.)
11. Starbucks has invaded Paris! Try to order Chai Tea Latte, Venti, with soy milk, no water, extra hot in French! It is refreshing to see American fellows crowding Starbucks cafes and munching on so-dearly-missed chocolate chip cookies and crumb cakes!
12. The metro system can be easy comprehensible as long as you know the end stations of each of the 14 lines!
13. Parisians don’t speak of districts in names, they speak in “arrondissments”. You are a true Parisian if you can say “J’habite le 6ieme arrondissment” – “I live in the 6th arrondissment.”
14. You think you know the words like “apartment” and “addition “ – but in truth – it sounds NOTHING like your familiar words, but more like l'appartement [lapurtimuh], and l’addition [ladission].
15. Always check if a 15% tip is already included in your bill - service compris (tip included); either way you won’t make a waiter extra happy.
Winter in Perspective…or Aren’t You Glad You Are Not in Antarctica?
Aren’t you happy you are not living in…And you think YOU are cold.
Antarctica
Canada
Siberia & Suburbia, Russia
Rome, Florence & Milan, Italy
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Berlin, Germany
Sussex, UK
Cleveland, OH
New York
le Cinema. Cinema Truth:
Juno
When I said The Lives of Others was the best movie last year, I still stand strong on it, but here comes a sweet low-budget movie that received more publicity than any blockbusters out there. All of the sudden, you hear the ants’ noise in the city and the wind carries the sound of “Juoooo, Junooo” – I thought I was going insane and to get rid of the noises, I decided to see a film and be down with it.
I left the theatre feeling light (and not because I didn’t have popcorn and soda), but because I felt light and optimistic about life in general – that’s the emotions the movie inflicts in you. It’s a sweet story of a 16-year-old high school girl, who lives with her farther and a mother-in-law, plays guitar in a band and fancies a nerdy classmate. The dialog beats are very smart, funny and cute. All actors perfectly fit the characters. The film is not long. And it’s just too damn cute and intelligent and evokes good feelings, all in all. (I bet, Britney Spear’s little 16-year old sis, Lynn, is relieved for the people to accept a high school pregnancy…But we aren’t saying it’s ok, either.)
National Treasure – The Book of Secrets
I am not going to lie. I didn’t want to see this movie. I tried very hard to avoid it any cost, but at 30s degree outside on a crisp late evening without my extra hot latte, I felt that if I wait an hour for a movie I wanted to see, I won’t feel my feet and my hands anymore. So, I went to see the National Treasure – The Book of Secrets. Not being a fan of Nicolas Cage, really, and not really fancying Diane Kruger, I actually enjoyed the “Indian-Jones” like movie and was pleasantly surprised to find a good plot and a good team of acting. I personally like the young guy, the assistant – he stole some of the funniest scenes in the movie.
All in all, this is not Citizen Kane, of course, but for what it is, it’s not that bad – it’s a good time-waster for a very cold night.
Charlie Wilson’s War
Ok, where do I start? I see that the Russians have returned to be very, very bad. (Has the friendship between the White House and Kremlin ended already? I need to inquire with my agents about it.) First, Eastern Promises, where a very bad-ass mob is Russian. Now, Charlie Wilson’s War, where Russians are the evils who invaded Afghan and killed many men, women and even children (not to mention that 480,000 of Russians were wounded and killed in the war; not to mention that American people forgot about the Vietnam War – aren’t we all “pink and furry and loveable” when it comes to criticizing the other nations, but we forget what USA did in The Vietnam War?) I just can’t wait till the next James Bond movie – I would bet you that the worst evil would be a Russian.
Ok, where do I start, again? I start with the following – I wonder if the screenwriter and the director actually bothered to read the history and facts of the Afghan war. Based on what they have showed and told the audience, I’d guess – not. They probably read as much of the history of the war as high school students did the books by Charles Dickens. I think they should have double-checked certain facts about it.
Taking into account that the film is based on a true story, I see now I never grew to like Texas. The Texan governor Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) decides to raise money and support Afghans against the Russians. With the help of a socialite and a very rich southern woman Joanne Herring (Julia Roberts) who has a lot of time on her hands to do fabulous political parties, Charlie unites Egypt, Israel and Afghan to supply the weapons to shoot down the Russian helicopters. And as much as Egypt hated Israel and Israel hated Afghan, with a shot of whisky and a dance from a stripper, all men raised glasses and went home happily after. And then comes the day, when the money are raised and the weapons are delivered to the Afghan people and one by one the helicopters with the Russians are shot down (accompanied by documentary film of the real events) cheered up by the Texans.
Well, as much as I hate all wars. Killing innocent people and showing it on the screen is never a good propaganda. I didn’t like to see how Russians died as much as I didn’t like to see how Afghans died. My question is – what’s the message of the movie? That Julie Roberts looks good at her trimester? Or that Tom Hanks and Philip Seymour Hoffman is a good actor combo? No doubt, but I’m still questioning the purpose of this movie…Maybe you can help.
The Bucket List
Cancer is not a laughing matter, but you can’t help to smile at a perfect combo of Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, cancer patient, who decide to make a bucket list of all the things they didn’t do in life before they die. (I can’t seem to get enough of the superb action of Mr. Nicholson, he does not cease to amaze me, both in drama and in comedies!)
Two completely opposite individuals, Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) and Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) end up in the same hospital room. They are from different social classes. They have different values and morals and life experiences. And they are both battling cancer. While Carter has the family to come back to, Edward has no family. When Carter spent his life raising family and being a good husband, Edward spent his life building a multi-million empire and sufficient alimony bank accounts for his four wives. And when these two different persons realize that perhaps this is the best friendship they had in life, they make a decision to go on adventure and challenge. What comes out of this relationship and adventures is one sweet human melodrama, with at times very funny and at times very sad moments.
For my review on P.S. I love you, please visit: LA.CityZine.com: Alisa
La Cuisine…or Знаете ли вы историю салата 'оливье'?
Салат 'Оливье' изобрел в 60-е годы XIX века повар-француз Люсьен Оливье - владелец трактира 'Эрмитаж', который в те времена находился на Трубной площади. По всем статьям это был не трактир, а самый высокоразрядный парижский ресторан. Главной достопримечательностью эрмитажной кухни сразу же стал салат 'Оливье'. Способ приготовления салата Люсьен Оливье держал в тайне, и с его смертью секрет рецепта считался утерянным. Тем не менее, основные ингредиенты были известны, и в 1904 году рецептура приготовления салата была воспроизведена. Вот его состав: 2 рябчика, телячий язык, четверть фунта паюсной икры, полфунта свежего салата, 25 штук отварных раков, полбанки пикулей, полбанки сои кабуль, два свежих огурца, четверть фунта каперсов, 5 яиц вкрутую. Для соуса: майонез провансаль должен быть приготовлен на французском уксусе из 2 яиц и 1 фунта прованского (оливкого) масла, однако, по отзывам знатоков, это было не то. Но... попробуйте приготовить.
Salad ' Olivier ' was created by a French chef Ljusen Olivier - the owner of a tavern which was not a tavern, but like a five-star Parisian restaurant. And salad ‘Olivier” instantely became the main attraction at the restaurant. Ljusen Olivier kept a secret of the salad preparation, and when he died, the secret of the recipe was considered lost. Nevertheless, the basic components were known, and in 1904 the compounding of preparation of salad has been reproduced. Here its structure: 2 hazel grouses, the veal language, a quarter of pound of pressed caviar, ½ pound fresh salad, 25 pieces of boiled cancers, ½ jar of caraway, ½ jar of a soya spices, two fresh cucumbers, a quarter of pound capers, 5 hard boiled eggs. For sauce: mayonnaise provincial should be prepared on the French vinegar from 2 eggs and 1 pound provincial olive oil, however, according to experts, it was not that. But... Try to prepare this salad, you won’t regret the end product.
But this is, of course, not the ingredients we use in our regular preparations of the salad (where would I get hazel grouses?) It’s more basic then that: chicken, potatoes, peas, boiled eggs, onion, pickles, carrots and mayonnaise.
le Voyage. Travel with style…and a little bit of wit:
Why you fall in love with New York? The city, which air makes you dizzy, which subway makes you sweat just so that you can freeze up later in your over conditioned office. The city that offers you both – the greatest musicals and the greatest crime rate. The city, where even a bomb feels unsafe between 98th and 120th Streets on both East and West ends.
The city, where Moldavians are hired to represent Italians at the “authentic” Italian cousine restaurants and where a little bag of who-knows-how hygienic-are nuts are bought by locals at the rate of Chinese multiplication in China…
*Uncensored Traveler…or What’s in the New York Air That Makes One Fall in Love With The City?
I... wonder what it is in the New York air that enables me to put on the highest heals and the shortest dress after a 10-hour work shift and walk 10 blocks to a lounge to meet your friends.
I…wonder what it is in the New York air that enables me to sit up till all hours of the night in an atmosphere, which in Paris would make a horse dizzy or would kill a hamster, but here merely makes the brain just think faster on how to catch a cab in the middle of a busy 5th Avenue intersection.
New York – is not like the rest of the country - it is like a nation itself - more tolerant than the rest in a curious way. Littleness gets swallowed up here. All the obvious that makes other cities stand out is taken for granted in New York. Puccini – on Fridays, Bungalow 8 party with Paris Hilton – on Saturdays and sexual rendezvous tête-à-tête in a Trump Hotel – on Sundays.
Sources: View Images, New York.com
New York – is the place where one can learn more about human nature by attending a Puff Daddy party than by reading the 5-star Lonely Planet guidebook.
New York – is the proponent of women’s right to shoes. There is no other place like New York, where one can see women, day and night, run, sit, walk up and down, cross, squint and stand – in four-inch shoes. And it is neither during the summer nor in a taxi - women proudly march the streets of NYC in high heals during all seasons. Vivat, ladies!
New York – is a place where one can get the freshest sushi at 3 am in the Village on Tuesday, ran into Woody Allen on the 92nd and Lexington on Wednesday morning and jog behind Nicole Kidman at Central Park on a Thursday night, get down on a dance floor with the Bolshoi Theatre troupe on Friday night and spend the rest of the weekend tipping bartenders and befriending the doormen at the hip clubs with the attitude, which in other places would not consider a dignity, but a kiss-ass human behavior…
New York – is where there is enough place to party in the house and on the roof of the house; don’t mind the fact that these are the roofs of the skyscrapers. No matter, how tips one can get, there are always pre-war elevators to take you down to the first floor and there is always some man who is very eager to help you get a taxi (One-night stand is optional; but always tempting.)
New York – is the city where a Manhattan man would go on a ferry to State Island just to get laid with a hot Jewish brunette. New York – is the city where blondes became as legal as engaged men from Long Island became legal in Tri-City.
New York – is the city where at midnight the cheap Chinese eateries are the hot spots for tipsy horny couples and the Indian drug stores are the only open stores where one can get a supplies needed to continue the couple’s rendezvous trip.
New York – is the best thing that happened to the USA, because if it was not here, Bush would have won by 31 percent more votes. It’s the city where smoking was the last thing to abandon, but the only city that would still overlook the fact that people smoke inside the clubs, lounges and bars – talking about courageous owners.
New York – only in NYC you can have lunch with a Brazilian, Chinese, Ukrainian and American person. (That’s what I call you – the-People-of-All-Countries-Unite lunch.)
New York – is the only city where the “Fahrenheit 9/11” was met with the standing ovation.
New York – is the city…where Sex meets the City and the City meets Sex. It’s the city that had the honor of Soprano and Don Vito Corleone families’ residency. It is the city that gave us the “Anna’s Hall” (and the fashion of women’s pant suits that followed), “All about Eve” and “Godfather”.
It is also the city that stinks all 24/7, has the most obnoxious bums and the cutest firemen, policemen and bartenders. What can a girl do?
Quotes of the day…or Why Do I think Too Much?
“All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure” - Mark Twain.
“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?" - Sigmund Freud.
TRIBUTE TO A GREAT RUSSIAN ACTOR:
Александр Гаврилович Абдулов (Alexandr Abdulov)
1953-2008
Even if you were not in love with his characters, you might have loved him as an actor. Abdulov was an actor of the Method school, who gave all of him to the theatre and film. He was in more than 200 films, some of which will always be dear to us: To Kill a Dragon, Naval Cadets, Go Ahead, Formula of Love, Magicians, Look for a Woman, An Ordinary Miracle and my favorite – Don’t Leave a Loved One.
He was a sex symbol of his time and always attracted attention. He played good guys and bad guys, he played for kids in fairytales and did modern political dramas, and he played classics and foreign characters. He never missed a bit and was always demanded by theatre and film directors and had never had a break from acting, which always stayed the passion of his life. And this life has burned down. He died when his daughter was just an infant and his half daughter had his first granddaughter.
We lost a great actor. And some have lost a husband, a farther and a grandfather. You can read and view more on his life and pay tribute to him here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7tWw4VlPVdE&feature=relatedhttp://youtube.com/watch?v=VKS2Oh3Nw6U&feature=relatedhttp://youtube.com/watch?v=DMvO-R43DQ8&feature=relatedFor his complete filmography, visit:
If you need creative thoughts to flow into your over-stressed brain and feed the right AND left side of your brain, visit:
http://www.52projects.com/http://www.afisha.ru/http://alanocu.backpackit.com/pub/1305361?source=rss
Dali, Sexy UK Import, Bruce Springsteen Live, FB vs. FWB…and
Holiday Season in LA LA Land!
This and more in the column.
Editor’s Note:
If you have not noticed by now, from Today Show to iVillage, everyone is pitching suggestions for a healthy holidays gift basket. I expected much more from you, Matt Lauer! My question is, have we gone mad?!? It’s Holidays; it’s time to enjoy the indulgence of rich chocolate and juicy meats, carbs and starch, sugar and salt. So, what if you pack on a pound or two, work it off with your sex buddy (yep, I’ll be talking about it more) or hike your way to the top of a Russian Hill in San Francisco, or do a circle or two (yes, I used to do it on my rollerblades) around the Central Park in New York or, worst case scenario, get one of those Jane Fonda aerobics video from the ‘80s and imagine yourself a Heavenly Bodies’ aerobic guru. Worked for me when I was 15 and wore spandex, legwarmers and blue eye shadow.
Anyways, it’s been quite some good times this past month, from attending a Bruce Springsteen’s concert in Los Angeles to re-joining with a good friend from Moscow, from Salvador Dali’s strange interview as part of the local exhibition to picking up a New Year’s getaway spot, from nailing my fall classes at UCLA to fishing with my dad in Texas over Thanksgiving. All in all, the seasonal change has been taken into account and I finally gave up my flip flops and tank tops and iced smoothie for an extra hot vanilla latte.
In this issue I wanted to treat my readers to both fun and serious stuff, and, of course, I wanted to address some of the questions that, apparently, matter to some of you. Happy Holidays to everyone – stay warm, merry and a bit tipsy (it’s all good, the French, Germans and Italians would say as Finns embark on a cross-over trip to the banks of St. Petersburg for some cheap Russian vodka…Everyone is getting ready for the holidays!)
Finns
"Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin,” - Napoleon Bonaparte.
"Sometimes I wish I'd went through those good times stone cold sober so I could remember everything..." "...but then again, if I had been sober, the times probably wouldn't have been worth remembering,” – F. Scott Fitzerald
And of course I did not forget about some of my friends who have a great desire to return to Moscow, and some of which are on the way. Scroll below to the tips section. (I am not discouraging you; I’m just giving you an honest perspective of what it is like…ommitting the politics and economics.)
In the News This Month…or Where Are We Going with This:1. A young woman is charged for killing her marine husband to buy herself breast implants – They should put a price tag on the implants – “It costs you a life!”
2. A daughter of our beloved president, Jenna Bush, calls her dad during her visit to the Ellen’s show – The audience is ecstatic “What a nice guy he is, our Georgie Bush…So down-to-earth; he actually picks up his cell when his daughter calls…” (Wow, I say, don’t all of our dads pick up when we call? The only difference is that, our dads actually do some important work when we call them on their cells.)
3. Apparently our favorite guys, Jay Leno and David Lettermen, are not as witty and funny as we thought they were without those talented writers in the background. Thanks to the Writers’ strike, we actually saw how dull the night shows can be. Even Jessica Simpson won’t laugh at Jay’s jokes.
4. Something for all of us out there who are not only bones and skin – Jennifer Love Hewitt defended all the women with forms that it is OK to have a butt and it is OK to be soft when they caught her in Mexico with her boyfriend, looking “chubby” according to the press. (My question is – how long are we going to give the generation of young girls eating disorders? If a celebrity looks thin to the bones and too perfect to be natural – then she paid for it. Nearly 11 million cosmetic plastic surgery procedures were performed in the United States in 2006.)
5. I know I should not tell you that those reality shows can be fun. Up until now, I avoided all the reality TV I could. You can scream at me, you can argue with me – I just think they are all stupid, so cheesy that I need a cracker every time I stumble over any of them while switching TV channels. Maybe I just don’t have time for such nonsense, but once I saw the new hot import from Britain – Katie and Peter, I realized that those shows can be fun – that is if they are British and the characters are British, the language is British English and the jokes are so British, indeed. And to my surprise, those pop culture celebrities in Britain are not as dumb as the local LA celebrity crowd. Perhaps they did read Dickens, Doyle and Bronte, indeed.)
6. Everyone is trashing Britney Spears. Los Angeles wakes up with the gossips on Britney, has its eggs and toast for breakfast with gossips on Britney, lunches on tuna spinach salad with gossips on Britney, orders Mahi Mahi for dinner with gossips on Britney and finished the day with a Lychee Martini with gossips on Britney. (Don’t you have a life?…And by the way, I do not care what she is doing, her latest CD is still very danceable!)
le Cinema. Cinema Truth:
American Gangster – It’s been a while since Denzel Washington made a movie and once again – he was superb. This is the reason, including Russell Crow, for which I went to see this film. Disappointed by a long run, more than 3 hours, and a slow pace of action, I concentrated on the actors. The overall theme of the movie is not something for a woman to drew over as it is about the crime in New York – a true story of an African-American mob in 1970s, at the time when Harlem started on 118th street on the upper west side and when NYPD officers wore leather jackets and did coke. But no crime is worth the lavish style that ends up with a life-long jail time.
August Rush – Cute. Romantic. And the boy, musical genius, steals the show. Everyone else is a complimentary to the boy’s story of finding his parents through the sound of music. The boy’s journey from an orphanage to New York City, from a homeless musician to the student of the Juliard’s academy, gives goose bumps. But it is definitely not a date movie, neither it is a chick flick…It’s a family movie. (I was actually hoping to see Juno…)
From Russia with Love:
«Глянец» Андрея Кончаловского
Can't say much about this film as I found it boring, bad acting and another "mindless" film with no point. A suburban comes to Moscow to do modeling and she is not even tall, pretty and thin. But then decides that she should rather marry a new Russian millioner mogu and become the rich elite of Russia. Boring! And not a good lesson for the young girls in Russia.
«12» Фильм Никиты Михалкова
A must-see film that features a strong cast of superb actors, some veterans and some relatively new actors. The film's plot is serious, it makes you think about many things and most importantly - it makes you feel. A trial of a Chechen boy charged for the murder of his Russian step-farther. From 11 members of jury who think the boy is guilty down to the one who still thinks he is guilty, the characters go through the journey of racism, discrimination, class differences and personal morals and values.
Managing Open Relationships: Fuck Buddies and Friends with Benefits
It comes with the age, territory, lifestyle, career standing and peer influence. When I was younger (not that I’m old now…but when I was single and fabulous in New York, that is…) I loved open relationships. Think: Carrie, Miranda, Samantha…
People call them “no strings attached” relationships, “fuck buddies” or “friends with benefits”, but whatever name they go by, for most men they are hard to pass up — there is something intensely satisfying about being able to ring up a girl at 11PM, be having sex with her at 11:30, and then be saying goodbye to her by 12:30AM.
Same goes for women. Is not it fabulous, to ring up a man; tell him you are wearing nothing and that you want him NOW. Have him come by, with wine (naturally) and have him leave whenever YOU want. And then you get to sleep in your bed and not worry about snoring, turning around, sharing your bed with someone who takes up your pillow and rolls over on your half of bed…And in the morning, not worry about making a breakfast for two, hurrying up in the bathroom to let the other person in and walking around in grandma undies…Ahhh, how liberating – to have sex LIKE A MAN!
When you live in a place like New York and you have not yet met “the one”, there is nothing wrong with a little something to get you go. It’s only healthy – for both species, male and female. As long as you are smart about it. As long as you are still picky about your fuck buddy. To my surprise, it could be everything but a boyfriend, it could be a six-pack charged Greek God or it could be a short and chubby with the sexiest smile and…something else that he knows how to use to compensate for everything else that is wrong with him.
When you are young, it’s time to play a bit, but at the end – yes, you do want to have that special one to spoon with, share your bed and wake up to – but before he comes, that PRINCE, there should be a few frogs in your pond to practice your moves (I’m not talking about Karate moves)…or…to teach them a thing or two.
Friends with Benefits versus Fuck Buddies:
I do think there is a difference, and I do think it is important to be clear about what sort of relationship status you are trying to achieve with a woman or a man. (For those who are still asking me these questions…hint, hint)
Before anything, if no strings attached, all you want is to have him in and out of…your door. Make sure the other person is on the same page with you and will not start romancing you.
Friends with Benefits (FWB): This is the relationship where the friendship bond is stronger than the sexual bond. You two may have developed a friendship first, and made it sexual in a moment of weakness (or passion, or frustration, or rebound) — or sometimes, you will have a strong sexual attraction, but one or the other person decides they want to be only friends. Then suck it and either be a friend…or not. Sometimes these FWB stay in your life and in a while you even forget how these people looked naked – hopefully for your future boyfriend/girlfriend. (Just don’t mention to your girlfriend/boyfriend that this friend that she/he has just met is your FWB or former FWB…)
Fuck Buddy (FB): A relationship where the sexual liaison is really the only bond. Don’t try to make this person someone they are not. Do not make any dates. Do not get romantic on the person. Do not give them presents. And do not ask them to meet your friends and family. Keep them in your “closet”, on a speed dial, or in your black book. These are the true “booty calls” — the people you know you can call at almost any hour of the day or night and, if they’re not doing anything, will come over for a shag (ah, Austin Powers is genius!) This is a casual, low key (no French restaurants, mind you…) and low-maintenance liaison.
Whereas with FWB there is a bona fide friendship to maintain, with FBs there is really nothing but an agreement to share sexual experiences whenever it’s convenient. How maintain a FB relationship – your FB absolutely must give you extremely good sex, otherwise – what’s the point?
So how different is FWB from a real full blown relationship, you might ask? The really only thing is that there is no monogamy.
Benefits of FB:
- Financially-free
- Your choice for a location of sex (FIGURE OUT what different sex locations mean FOR YOU and there is absolutely no care for what he likes…)
- It’s up to you to decide what day and time is good for you
- No worries about commitments, issues to discuss, arguments – no drama!
- Well, no need to tell me your life story…no need for me to tell you my life story
- Your fridge will still be full before and after the visit
- It’s up to you to decide on how sexy and non-sexy you want to be (Agent Provocateur vs. JC Penny…)
- No need to keep a drawer for his stuff in your apartment
- He is always in the mood, cause once he agrees to come over – he is in the definite mood, he has no excuses...
- No guilt of being selfish
Benefits of Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
It all comes down to the fact that even the most single and fabulous girls want to have a special one. Why? ...Just cause, there is nothing like a real intimacy!
Planning for the Winter Break…or How to Stand on Skies the Next Morning After New Year’s celebration?
You think you drink a lot on New Year’s? You think you are the only one who gets laid on New Year’s? You think you have the best outfit for a New Year’s party? You think your boss is the most generous boss who gives a gift basket? You think your boyfriend’s present is the most special? Guess what…
From Russia with Love - Дед Мороз and Снегурочка
New Year's in Paris
A man dives into the Tiber River as part of traditional New Year's Day celebration in Rome
New Year's Club Madness in London
New Year's Resolution in Ireland
New Year's Harvest in Brazil
A few of my friends have illusions about going back to Russia…some of them stayed in Russia and loved it (can’t blame them, I miss dark rye bread, caviar, eggplant spread and Bolshoi Theatre as well…) Some of them came back, because aside from all the nostalgic things that we miss so much, the country offers no law protection to its citizens – and it’s painful…)
Survival Tips for Russians who lived abroad and who are moving back to Russia...Many reasons might come upon your mind to decide to move back to your home country. Homesick - likely. Love interest - likely. Relatives - likely. Friends - likely. Seeking adventure? Most likely...Here are a few tips for Russians whose heart still beats for Russia and who has decided to move back to Russia...
1. Make sure you stay away from Rublevka - go party there, but leave the place after dark, if you want to keep some dignity.
2. Stop by Dom Knigi on Tverskaya street, opened till midnight, pick up some recent Top 10 best sellers, such as Duhless by Sergey Minaev, 99 Franks and anything by Oksana Robski. The first - you'd enjoy to the point of vomit. The second - you'd enjoy no matter what, but most likely you'd never want to work in advertising after you finish the last page. The third book - you'd throw up after the first page - the books are written by a Rublevka socialite, who made a fortune by marrying oligarchs and attending the social parties...However, it is all a must read if you want to know what your colleagues and your friends talk about. I, personally, preferred, The Parfumer by Zuskind and Kazus Kukuzkogo by Ulitzkaya...
3. Run away from the crowd who talks about Tretyakovsky proezd, Vogue cafe and the horse racing in the countryside - Sooo not the crowd who enriches your culture!
4. Don't expect much alcohol in your drinks, unless you pay $15 for a drink!
5. Never rely on a man to be single, even he is not wearing any ring - the ring usually stays in his Bentley, along with toys for his children and a lingere for his mistress.
6. Consider yourself lucky, if your parents have an apartment in Moscow. Otherwise, prepare to pay up to $1,500-2,500 for a moderate place in downtown Moscow and up to $800-$1,000 in suburbs with ancient washer, no elevator and a broken ceiling...(A tip, never pay upfront to a real estate agent, let him/her show you the place, give you a key to an apartment. Only then - sign the papers and pay.)
7. Never assume that a car would stop on a green light, always make sure they stop before you walk the zebra...Usually, they don't...Just read the statistics of the car accidents.
8. Watch your bag in the subway. Never assume, it's closed well. There are always "shalovlivie ruchki".
9. Always have some free flow cash, in case you are stopped by militziya and/or if you have to get a visit with a doctor and actually be prescribed the right medicine and in case if you want to go to a restaurant (most still do not accept cards - yep, much evolving needs to be done in Russia!)
10. Be prepared to hear less of Russian language that Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy and Pushkin used to speak - prepare to hear the russian mutation of the english language that took a form of russian - so-called russification of english language. Ok - is "horosho", Cool - is "klevo" and so on :).
11. Never assume that the bread and the water that comes with your dinner is for free, unless you choose to have tap water (but who wants to drink Moscow-river water?)
12. Don't assume that just because your colleagues have tea breaks with you, share their cookies with you and tell you the most intimate details of the last night they had spent with a bartender from Krasnaya Shapochka strip club - that they won't be jelous of your education and your living experience in New York (believe me, they would give it all up to move out of Russia...they will never understand WHY you moved back...but they would "act" happy to be in Russia - the "third" Roman Empire, as they'd say...)
13. Be prepared to pay $1,500-2000 member fee for a gym (upfront payment). Unless you live by Park Izmailovo and/or Moscow riverfront...but with all the polution, you wouldn't want to run there anyway...and whatever excersises you chose to do in your backyard, the onlookers would consider you crazy, while they would gulp beer and chain smoke in your presence. (A tip: get a DVD tape of Yoga, Pilates, Aerobics and do it at home...But with all the running in the subway, groceries, stress, etc. - you won't need any excersises. I went from 55 to 50 kg in just 6 months, as if I need to loose any weight anyway.)
14. Don't assume, just because you used to like Zara and H&M in NY, you would fit in with the glamourous crowd - those guys go shopping to Milan, Paris and London, unless they'd find what they are looking for in ZUM/GUM/Rublevka/Tretyakovsky proezd...Labels matter, as much as what you smoke (Vogue is a must!) and what salons you go to...as much as who you date and what your man does for a job (your job does not matter as much...)
15. 14 years is legal for girls to get in relationship with men (Say "thank you" to the russian government - I am assuming they are all perverts). So, lady, you've got quite a competition. 25 - is an old maid age! So, don't say proudly how old you are, everyone chops off years of age in their passports...:)
16. Do not assume there are laws in Russia. Any laws for that matter. There aren't any!
17. Make sure you always have a big saucepan to heat the water. They turn off cold and hot water without any notice. Usually for a month or for longer. They pretend to work on the system, but for some reason - there is no difference between then and now after they turn it back...
18. Don't assume you'll find same old Russian ice-cream brands. Nestle bought the russian chocolate and ice-cream factories. Now, the ice-creams come with jell, nuts and all the crap inside and out of the ice-cream. Say goodbye to good old Eskimo! (A tip - if you are really craving some good old ice-cream - go to GUM! They still have those "stakanchiki" - crisp and "plombir" - delicious. Only for 25 rub, expensive, but worth it! I'd usually have 2-3 of those :).
19. All foreign movies would be doubled, but if you really miss English - go to Rolan or 35MM theatres, they show movies with subtitles. And these theatres are awsome. Rolan is good to have coffee in the lobby before the movie, watch big screen TV and ran into celebrities. 35MM - is just awsome, period; known for film festivals, special screenings, alternative and old classic movies.
20. In my humble opinion - Perekrestok is the best grocery store. As for fruits and veggies - rely only on what is in season. You wont' see much of strawberries, if at all, in the fall-winter and spring...
21. Believe me, Moscow winters are less pleasant than New York ones. Those hats, boots and coats you wore in NY, you can safely put it in your closet and shop for warmer ones!
22. Make sure you take vitamins. Your immune system might be weakened after some time spent in USA. Those Russian germs of cold and such are away too strong for our immune system! Those locals are used to the germs, you, on the other hand, might be an attractive target for them! Get an insurance with your company!
23. The theatre season is wide open right now. Take advantage of Tabakov studio, Sovremennik, Maykovsky Theatre, Petr Fomenko Theatre and MHAT. But be prepared to pay up to $50-60 for a ticket, unless all the cast actors are recent graduates from Shukinsky and/or VGIK colleges and are not famous yet.
24. Keep your metro card unbent and dry, once it's crunched and rain wet, it'd be a nightmare to replace it!
25. Don't be surprised to find that 99% of the TV programming comes from the west. You'd find Friends, Sex and the City, Lost - all nicely translated and dubbed, shown 24/7, replacing good old Russian programming. The rest of the programming will be a bad copy of the American TV shows, such as realities and tv-series. (A tip: Kultura channel is the best for good old Russian movies and CTC is good for Russian tv series.)And if you'd run into Nikolas Safronov, Ivan Urgant and Maria Golubkina, tell them, I said Hi. And if you don't know who they are, you soon will know, just watch TV, read newspapers and attend glamorous parties.)Good luck! If you'd ever need something, you know who to ask.
P.S. And yes, I miss Cheburashka too...but I'd rather get nostalgic over it with friends in a country that makes me comfortable.
le Voyage. Travel with style…and a little bit of wit:
Another paradise...I thought there is no another paradise after Italy, but no…there is one more place, which is as warm and welcoming as Italy – it is Greece, or Grece, or Griecheland, or Grecia or ЕЛЛАДА…as the locals tenderly call it…Not to mention Hot, Hot, Hot Greek guys on scooters riding along the narrow roads, in between the cars, half-naked, with dark, dark tans, big Alan-Delon sunglasses and tight shorts. But nevertheless…
*Uncensored Traveler…or Hot Greek Men, Cold Greek Ice Cream and Slippery Octopus:
Mykons, Poros, Hydra, Aegina and Athens – and all the islands in between…If I had to choose only one place among these, it would be Mykons with its old windmills, white-stone round-edge houses, homeless happy cats, blue/green/yellow/red colored house doors and roofs, figs, grilled ousters and octopuses, fried Saganaki cheese, fried eggplants and zucchini balls and cold Nescafe Frappe, donkeys, goats, grandmas in black, super friendly bartenders who make the best Pinot Coladas and its clear see-through sea-water and 8 EURO-beaches…
There is not enough of the seafood to try in one week! You would not be able to get enough of fresh fish, and all the lovely squids which look more appealing cooked on your plate than out in the sea! And even though the ice-cream is not like Italian Gelatos, there are always multiple choices of Baklava served with ice-cream or another Greek desert specialty – rich yogurt with honey and nuts.Talking about food! Talking about beaches! Talking about tropic beaches! And OUZO!
Once you are in Greece, make sure you have plenty of film or space in your digital camera, because you would be lured to take pictures of the countryside, architecture, people on the streets and local Greek “Zeuses….!
Greek islands smell like lilies, fig trees and grilled seafood, which is too delicious to pass! Dinning by a seafront, lunching at a local tavern and having late night drinks in Mykonos Town downtown is nothing like a true paradise – a true experience of local cuisine and scene.
There will be a temptation to try all the beaches in the area, as there are several offered: Plaka, Psiri, Ano Mary village, Mykonos town, Paradise and Super Paradise beaches. Be prepared to drop a few dollars on some goodies to take home from the local flea markets and little boutique stores. It is all about leather sandals and crafty hand-made cloths. Not to mention the accessories – too good for a girl to pass…The local “vodka” – Ouzo, often offered after the meal as a complimentary, was not the drink you’d like to have at a +45C degree weather, but it is worth to try it anyway because you will be asked about its taste later…and besides – you would not want to offend the very hospitable patrons at the restaurants.
And do not overlook the beautiful Greek Orthodox Churches and Cathedrals, street artists and lots of friendly people. Even some of the slowest restaurant service is way better than in some of the European countries, but then again – the Greeks enjoy foods, they enjoy life and they sing and dance!
Mykonos “Must-Dos”:
1. Tan topless
2. Yogurt with honey and nuts EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY
3. Eggplant salad, fried cheese Saganaki, grilled octopus, baklava with ice-cream and zucchini balls
4. Nescafe Frappe and Krassee Lefko
5. Scooter-riding with a local Zeus in tied shorts
6. Wake up early to see the morning catch (the variety of seafood is intoxicating)
7. Day dream at a café facing the water
8. Romance the local bartenders
9. Dance a a local rave club – some of the best international DJs perform in Mykonos (e.g. DJ Satoshi and DJ Tiesto)
10. Get lost in the narrow streets of the town and wonder in some little Greek Orthodox chapel
Mykonos is a true paradise, an escape from reality – down-to-earth, but also hip and entertaining – no surprise it’s one of the places Madonna loves.
Picture of the Month: Who says LA is boring…not if you come across things like that E V E R Y day!
Cool Websites and Social Networking to Check Out…:
Why We Care What Other People Think? Why We Should Care What Trends Are Up and Coming? And Why It’s Fun to Stay in Touch with Your First Class Bully?
http://www.buzzdash.com/
http://www.thecoolhunter.net/
http://www.odnoklassniki.ru/
WELCOME BACK to de La-La Land Blog Column.
Devastating Fires in California, Britney's battle in court, Halloween…and birth control pills for 11 year old girls in Maine!
This and more in this month’s column…What the &*#@ is Going On?
Editor’s Note:
I’m not sure if it is the cool weather that has been falling upon sunny California, or the smell of the burning Malibu or the fact that I do not have my Showtime channel anymore, but I’ve been restless. I can’t quote Entourage, neither can I quote the ultimate favorite of mine – Curb Your Enthusiasm anymore, but at least I have my E! Entertainment and a Blockbuster nearby, as some of the nights have become foggy and chilly, and remote has become my friends. It’d be nice to use my parents’ fireplace and my mom’s glutwein recipe. Oh, well, I’ll wait till the Thanksgiving! Everyone – party at my parents’ house in Texas – my dad has mastered BBQ the Texan way, don’t ask me what it is!
These past few weeks, the residents in California experienced the worst of the fires in history. Celebrities flee their houses in Malibu (not many of us can afford to leave there…so we were safe in Los Angeles. And so were the bums who can’t afford to live there either…) But the worst hit was in the south of San Diego, and my heart goes to the ones who lost their houses. Not that we all need another natural disaster after Katrina, and now this fires; we have enough to deal with – can you tell me when Bush’s term is over, please?
On a good note, the fires didn’t keep those celebrities from partying on the Halloween and I’m here to visualize it. Not to say that the yearly notorious Halloween parade in West Hollywood, just a few blocks away from me, was something of a lesser degree fun. The fact that the helicopters surrounded the sky above the area of the parade and didn’t stop their noisy motors until early in the morning, the fact that everyone parked on my block and walked to the parade, leaving no space for the locals to park (and I had to drag my butt about 2 miles from my apartment building) and the fact that the police sirens went off every half an hour, made it hard to imagine that the fun was not happening – oh, yes, it did!
A group of cool, hip and joyful friends: a Playboy Bunny, a Cat, a Police Office and Zorro, made the party rounds on the Saturday before, from a party at a happening hotel in Los Feliz to a house party at a mansion on the top of the Laurel Canyon. We ended our escapade at 7 am after making a local stop at a diner just to see that we were not the only ones who had a bit much alcohol – pieces of costumes were laying all over the place, while half-undressed witches, clowns, vampires and monsters were consuming their onion rings and French fries. At the end – it was a good night!
And the last, but not the least – I apologize to all my fans who religiously read my columns (and I very much appreciate it!) that I am unable to deliver the column on a weekly basis. Now that I’m back in school, taking journalist classes at the
University of California Los Angeles (UCLA), I’m trying to manage work, school and social life – all at the same time…But I can’t complain, as I have the best professors who are talented reporters and editors, and the best friends, who keep me grounded and who allow me to dream the BIG dreams!
In the News This Month…or Where Are We Going with This:
1. Birth control pills are now legally distributed to the girls at the middle schools of Maine. Controversy, no or yes? Id’ say – why middle school? Start with Elementary! And why only birth control pills, give out Kama Sutra and fancy condoms. And on a happy hour, watch 9 ½ Weeks in the auditorium! Why deny ALL the pleasure to the teen girls?
2. According to the study conducted at a men’s clinic in London, men are hormonal too (this is the last thing women need to hear, men are “taking” over our excuse for being moody!) Ladies, next time you unwrap Lindt’s chocolate bar, share it with your guy – he might be feeling hormonal too!
3. Roberto Cavalli is arriving at H&M clothing stores around the country. Famous for his prints with an ultimate leopard-print dress we all fancy about, the regular girls can now safely spend $199 instead of $1999 for his landmark dress and make a fashion statement in and around your work and leisure time hangouts.
4. A well known New York Times columnist, Michael O’Mara, presented his book “Don’t go to work on Monday” – a Guide to essentially all everyday questions and dilemmas (New Yorkers know it better how hard it is to get up on Monday after a late night drink at Baltazar on Sunday night…)
5. The Screen Writers are on strike in Los Angeles and it is going on strong. You might ask, how does it affect me? Why should I care? Well, let’s see. Imagine that you come home and you turn on your favorite NBC, or ABC, or Fox, or CBS channel and all you see, 24/7 are the reality shows. All kinds of them. And ONLY reality shows. Instead of your new series of Heroes, or Grey Anatomy, or Practice, or 24, or CSI – there are re-runs of the shows, over and over. You change the channel, there is Bachelor – 10, The Beauty and the Geek – 5…Believe me, you life will become different because your evening and weekend routine has been ruined. And your blockbuster expenses just went up a notch!
THE Reasons We Love New York…Or Why It Grows On You:
The best roasted nuts from street vendors. You don’t want to know if they clean the pots, and if they wash their hands before they roast them, for that matter. But there is nothing like them anywhere in the world (and yes, I’ve traveled. The only thing that comes close to them is the roasted chestnuts in Paris)
It does not matter that you have to walk a few blocks, take a subway, walk more – New York women are notorious for their high heel uncomfortable stilettos.
As much as we hate rudeness from the fellow New Yorkers, you forget about it on Times Square, Soho and 5th Avenue when you have to make your way through clueless tourists. All of the sudden, you remember you have your elbows.
Pedestrians hate taxis. Taxis hate pedestrians. But New Yorkers do like to be punctual, perhaps because of less tolerance. New York is busy and we like it.
There is nothing like a good New York steak. (maybe only Texans can compete in the one-on-one.)
New York brought us Woody Allen, Sex and the City and Sopranos.
It is all about Broadway and that reduced-price ticket line on Broadway and 47th. (Nothing is like to see Producers and Chicago at a 50 percent ticket reduction.)
New York women think New York men are freaks. New York men think New York women are freaks. And we use this “excuse” to get in and out of the relationships.
Matt Lauer. He might be wearing suits on TV. But it is not his TV charisma that appeals...No comment.
There is nothing like special "days" in New York - there is nothing like a fleet week.
You can always be sure that your neighbors know everything that is going on with you. Don’t worry if you didn’t say Hello to your neighbor today; you can always wave them from your window.
Central Park. The only place that saves New Yorkers from humid summers, offers year-around entertainment and plenty of space for sport activities.
Street vendors, any street vendors. A paradise for women...
Shopping. Even Europeans can’t help it but bring their Euros to do New York shopping. Same way as LA celebrities go on a shopping spree to Barney’s and Bergdorf Goodman.
There are all four seasons. And as much as New Yorkers hate humidity in the summer, fall puddles from the rain and snow that ruins their expensive Italian leather boots, but four seasons is one of the things everyone misses when it is not around.
There is nothing like New York delis…to compensate for the lack of kitchen space.
Subway. Hate it. Love it. Hate it for smell, dirt, crowd, rats, homeless and beggars – but there is nothing that can get someone from one end of the city to the other end at almost any time of the day.
Singles. New York is a great school for dating. Date in New York, marry in Connecticut.
It’s International all the way, from French chefs to Greek spas, from British advertisers to Japanese graphic designers, from Italian tailors to Russian IT specialists, from Indian Telecommunicators to South American traders. And as long as we all had our vaccines; we are would be fine mingling among each other.
New York was built to keep homes warm. And as long as the heat is on, the winters can be tolerated, at least at night.
Variety. Variety in everything, from food to dance classes, from drinks to bookstores, from movie theatres to jewelry stores, from music venues to spas, from dialects to vegetarian cafes, from yoga studios to lounges.
New Yorkers know how to party. At any time, any day and at any season. There is nothing like a taxi at a 4am after a long night at Roxy.
Wall Street men. There is nothing like a room full of powerful men in rage and making money.
Smart literature. Just for the reason that New York has voted against Bush is enough for me to admire it.
Those marathons. There is nothing like muscled men in shorts. And women in tights.
An Eye Opening Fact about Diets…"You look so young, how do you do that?” “I eat very little…” (Renata Litvina in “Goddess, or How I felt in Love”) :
Apparently there is no right or wrong diets. We tried it all, from Atkins (no carbs) to a 5-Zone (5 small balanced meals) diet and we are still the fattest nation in the world. The French who eat bread and butter with every mean, not to mention the cheese plate for a desert. The Brits who eat hard boiled whole eggs with a toast and bacon. The Greeks with their perfect mussaka layers of meat, cheese and potatoes. The Germans with their sour cream like yogurt, pork sausages and white bread. The Russians with their toasts of melted cheese and butter and fried eggs with three-meat kolbasi. The Spanish with their rice, cheese and fried beans and tons of sangria. Everyone seems to come out thinner than the nation with fat-free cottage cheese (are you kidding me?), sugarless oreo cookies (who are you fooling?) and almost-butter spreads (tell this to a farmer in Ireland) – the nation that invests millions of dollars into dietitians, gyms and health centers and literature on diets. Have you heard of a new sensation on the market – a treadmill work desk for employees to use when they make calls and/or check their emails? They can walk the treadmill while working – how cool is that? This country never ceases to amaze me. What’s next, a treadmill stove and a Pilates-machine-bed so that we can work out while we cook and sleep?
The Places That Just Love Halloween….:
Los Angeles
It is all about Santa Monica and a couple dozen of helicopters. It’s all about Paris Hilton and Playboy Mansion Halloween party…And of course – elaborate and very creative costumes from Heidi Klum, who proves that even with three babies, one can have a figure of a goddess…And even disastrous fires didn’t ruin the Halloween celebration this year.
New York
It is all about the Village and tons of both local and foreign onlookers…Kids and dogs are part of the show.
San Francisco
It is all about Castro District…Do I need to say anything more about the most famous parades in the country? As long as they keep the shooting away, the party will go on, but the light polls and the roofs of the bus stops are out of question now. The city is officially grounded…to some degree.
Even in Asia and Europe, they celebrate Halloween:
China
London
Paris
le Cinema. Cinema Truth:
Into the Wild –
Based on a true story, Sean Penn proves that not only he is a superb actor, but that he is also a good director. Maybe not Clint Eastwood yet, but he is also not that old. So, the experience and craft will come with years.
I would not say it’s a movie I’d watch again; even the first time goes a bit long and a bit dull, some moments. But the views of nature, the little vignettes of characters that come into the life of the main characters bring humorous and sad truths about life. The hippies, the farmers and random bystanders are all part of the story, and their lives are fulfilling. Can’t say the same about the guy who donates his savings for college, decides not to go to college and embarks on a travel to Alaska. He grows a beard and nails and he learns how to hunt and cook wild animals, while writing a journal where he shares each of his experiences. To share with whom? Not to ruin the end of the movie, I won’t say how it ends. One thing though, at least at the end, after all his loneliness, he makes a point that true happiness is when you have someone to share it with…And he didn’t…Till the very end.
Hearbreak Kid –
Well, after all the great expectations to see another hilarious film from Ben Stiller, can’t say I’m not disappointed. Yes, the film is light. Ben Stiller is still as good as he gets, but the fans of Zoolander and Meet the Parents would be a bit disappointed. Something is missing – perhaps more comedy?
Things We Lost in the Fire -
I opened a movie guide to see what I wanted to see, but all I could see was the genre, the actors and the story lines I was not interested in, except for…
Things We Lost in the Fire. Perhaps it’s the fact that Hally Berry was so damn good and sexy in The Perfect Stranger; her abs and ass are still on my mind (and yes, I’m very comfortable with my sexuality to say that this woman is so damn sexy…) I thought I wanted to see the movie just because of her, but I didn’t realize that not only she will not be sexy in the movie (not that kind of the movie…), but that it’s going to be 99% of scenes with a drug addict, his throw ups, his sweat and non ending smoking…And if that’s not enough, the end just threw me off – there is no end.
Dan in Real Life –
What can I say; Steve Carell is my next Will Farrow. I think it’s all about the TV training that they got, doing stand up and skits. Saturday Night, Daily show with Jon Stewart. These guys are good. And Steve Carell is great both at comedy and drama. And Juliette Binoche, the French import, could not be any better, she brings the sensual side of a woman that some women have forgotten about.
The supporting cast of Dane Cook, Diane West and John Mahoney are as much of the story as everyone else and this one happy family reminds us one more time that we can actually truly enjoy family get together, as weird as they might be.
Events for the Autumn…or Get Back in the Game with Your Friends:
1. Celebrate the new season by exploring the city with friends
2. Admire the autumn colors (that is unless you live in southern California where you get to see the same leaves on Palm trees all year around…)
3. It’s not too hot and it’s not too cold yet and with a few rain drops in the fall, see what’s happening in your local art scene; signed up for a newsletter to your city’s musical, theatrical and art scenes. Keep me posted!
4. Fall is perfect to catch up with your friends. Ladies, stop crying over the “kill” of our ultimate favorite chick flick, Sex and the City, and embrace the new gals of New York – Cashmere Mafia. Or even better, invite girlfriends for some Bailey’s and a movie classics night and take it to extremes with homemade appetizers and a poker game
4. Catch up on your reading: the warm nights are gone, so is the desire to party every night
5. Get yourself ready for an all-I-want-to-do-is-eat-and-sleep winter and sign up for a gym…with a sauna, of course!
6. Make a trip to a local organic tea shop and stock on various teas to make your night cozier and fuzzier for some extra snooze
7. Evaluate your options for a periodical subscription; locate your city public library card
8. Consider Ugg Boots for home and outdoors (I have them. I love them. The best investment for people whose feet are always cold…)
Holidays of the Months…or Why We Another Reason to Get Drunk:
It is bizarre to realize that there are so many holidays and “special” days each month. Maybe that is because we do not feel the effect of the holidays in our 10-11 hour work-day and no vacation. Perhaps that is why The Civil War broke down in - 1861, the Yankees wanted all to work equally without slaves, the Southerners wanted to work part time and with slaves.
This month is a month: Adopt a Shelter Dog Month, American Pharmacist Month, Apple Jack Month, Awareness Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Clergy Appreciation Month, Computer Learning Month, Cookie Month, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Eat Country Ham Month, International Drum Month, Lupus Awareness Month, National Diabetes Month, National Pizza Month, National Vegetarian Month, National Popcorn Popping Mont, Sarcastic Month, Seafood Month
Each day is a holiday: from World Vegetarian Day to National Custodial Worker Day, Name Your Car Day, Techies Day, Virus Appreciation Day, National Golf Day, National Frappe Day, Do Something Nice Day, World Teacher's Day, Come and Take it Day, Mad Hatter Day, International Frugal Fun Day, Physician Assistant Day, Bald and Free Day, Oktoberfest, World Smile Day, American Touch Tag Day, Columbus Day, Curious Events Day, Fire Prevention Day, Leif Erikson Day, Moldy Cheese Day, Emergency Nurses Day, National Angel Food Cake Day, It's My Party Day, Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, Cookbook Launch Day, Old Farmer's Day, Moment of Frustration Day, World Egg Day, International Newspaper Carrier Day, International Skeptics Day, Be Bald and Free Day, National Dessert Day, White Cane Safety Day, Bosses Day, Dictionary Day, Wear Something Gaudy Day, No Beard Day, Evaluate Your Life Day, Brandied Fruit Day, Babbling Day, Count Your Buttons Day, National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day, National Nut Day, Sweetest Day, National Mole Day, United Nations Day, National Bologna Day, Punk for a Day, World Pasta Day, National Mincemeat Day, Make a Difference Day, National Tell a Story Day, Navy Day, Plush Animal Lover's Day, Hermit Day,
Mother-In-Law Day, National Frankenstein Day, National Candy Corn Day, Mischief Night Carve a Pumpkin Day, Halloween Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
I mean, look at THIS list, I wonder what exactly do you do on a National Frankenstein Day (wish it to your boss?), or on a Come and Take it Day (does it mean I can harass my very good looking neighbor, he promised to give “it” to me a long time ago!), and what about a Virus Appreciation Day (do they really mean it? I’m sure the very sick ones would be happy to finally get some action...) And good luck taking your Teddy Bear to Work; I’m sure if you do so, you’ll have a Physician Day off!
*Uncensored Traveler…or A Road Trip to Visit Oprah’s Mansion:
Santa Barbara’s gorgeous and very relaxing scenery is easy on an eye. There is no hassle of Los Angeles traffic (once you get there,) so notorious to be the worst in the country, and there is no need for a business suit. The town is all about shorts, shirts and flip flops, even patrons at 5-star restaurants overlook the fact that a man wears no socks and a woman has her hair loose, wet and sandy from the beach.
Even pedestrians are so relaxed that they don’t j-walk on completely empty streets of the town.
Santa Barbara is the home of some of the well-known people in the country. Oprah Winfrey has her estate just north of Santa Barbara, in the suburbs – Montecito. If even she chooses to commute two hours to and from Los Angeles, then it means the place is worth it.
At first glance the town is not as happening as you would expect, except for a few boutique stores and restaurants, but being the home to the University of California Santa Barbara (UCSB), Santa Barbara offers quite a few entertainment venues.
In the summer it becomes alive and loud during continuous Cinquo de Mayo festivities (do not mind that it is officially a May holiday). The bars stay open all night to serve all you can eat tortilla chips with mean salsa and drinks that a chicana is happy to share with a gringo.
During the day, blissfully clean beaches and brave-to-the-point-of-arrogance seagulls are the main attractions for the locals – families with very blond kids, old couples with fancy walkers and students.
Santa Barbara “Must-Dos”:
1. Explore the suburbs of Santa Barbara, which offer the views of very private multi-million homes
2. Take a surfing lessons from a local pro, most of whom are tall, blond and fit young men – and just gorgeous enough to work your abs and butt along their side
3. Spend an afternoon at one of the local beaches watching seagulls, dolphins and happy families
4. Enjoy a seafood platter at one of the popular local spots, the Hungry Cat. The seafood is so fresh and delicious that it can even make your cat jealous
WELCOME BACK to de La-La Land Blog Column!
The Summer is over…but NOT in LA
Editor’s Note:
James Dent once said: “A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.” And I must admit, I agree. I agree to the point, at which I wanted to drag myself out of bed last Saturday at 7am and face that *&%hole, who was trimming the trees and bushes around our building. But then I felt his pain because a few more hours and he’d be laying under the shadow sucking on a bottle of cold water as last weekend was a promising of 110 F / + 35C degrees in Los Angeles. But it felt like +45 in the apartment, the owner of which refused to buy an AC, hoping that the summer heat is over…Yep, that was me.
But I didn’t suffer for long – the advantage of living in Los Angeles is not that the deliciously refreshing Pinkberry has opened its ice cream and yogurt parlor in my neighborhood (7123 Melrose Ave) and not the fact that massive flea market with everything from Parisian vintage to Nigerian art is a 5-min walk from my house and not even for the fact that before everyone else in the world sees a movie, it is here, in the city of film industry that we get to see the “out-of-the-editing-not-yet-shown-anywhere-else” movie, but it is the advantage of living a mere of 30-35 min drive to the nearest happening beach.
In this issue of my newsletter, I wanted to introduce a new feature: addressing the letters to the editor. There were quite a few interesting comments and questions I’ve received and I can’t let it slip.
Many of you have asked me why my columns are so sporadic, they do not come at the same time each month. My answer to it is: if I had a maid who would have cooked, cleaned, shopped, did laundry, washed my car, replaced me at my full time PR job and took care of my baby girl – I would have all the time in the world to make my deadlines and issue a newsletter every week.
Many of you have also assumed that if I gave you 25 reasons of how a first date can go bad (please see the previous newsletter), all 25 times happened with me. Silly, if I would have been dating so much, it’d have been me, not Kim Cattrall, who would have played Samantha Smith in the “Sex and the City.” I can say only one thing – all the things I write about – they all have happened; they are all true.
And that last, but not the least - don’t worry, no male species have been harmed during the experiments!
Highlights of the last few Weeks…:
1. Helmsley's dog gets $12 million - Leona Helmsley's will leaves a fortune to her dog and nothing to two of her grandchildren.
2. First gall on the American land and under the new contract by David Bekham.
3. Boogie boards are the very happening water activity on the beaches of California…boogie like a surfer, but with less bruises.
4. The millionaire Flavio Briatore, the director of Renault Formula One and the proud owner of a very famous yacht that one can spot in and around Portofino, is officially off the market…but hey, good news, Prince Harry is still available and he is getting cuter and cuter with each year.
5. Brittney Spears finally hit the rock bottom, at its very completion…what could have been as a great comeback, ended in great pity for Mrs. Spears at the MTV Music Video Awards...(it’s done, it’s over, let’s just move on…)
Les Nouvelles… In the NEWS to take a note on:
Kate Moss launched her fragrance – Kate Moss by Kate Moss: and as much as we all want to hate her for drugs and for being skinny, we still love her for this extraordinary sense of style (her clothing line at Topshop is being always sold out…And I’m sure that’s what’s going to happen with the fragrance. I’d buy it without a test, how wrong can she go?)
Editor’s Pick of the Month:
1. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset (it is all about the patio...and people watching. The other day, a plastic surgery addict, a woman in her 60s, interviewed for a dog-walker job with some young man of 30…couldn’t help to overhear the conversation. I didn’t know people can be so desperate. Need to pay those “medical bills”?)
2. Hustler store (not only they sell some cool curiosity-grabbers, but they also offer delicious coffee on the patio – like you need a caffeine rush after going through adult toys, tasty lip gloss and fun-to-wear panties…)
3. Hadaka sushi restaurant (sexy sushi? – You bet. After a while you get used to order with a straight face the Lipstick Lovers, Dirty Nibbles, sushi the Doggy’s Style and Fuck on the Beach from the Moulin Rouge look-alike waitresses…)
4. Doughboy’s on the 3rd Street (for breakfast and lunch – onion soup and Portobello mushroom salad is to die for…and one in-house baked oatmeal cookie can feed the army of soldiers...that’s how big it is…)
5. Border’s Bookstore on Sunset and Vine (books, magazines and coffee…anything from Vogue Italia to Harper’s Bazaar Australia)
Amoeba music store (from a very wide selection of vinyl records to the latest Ibiza club hits…and cheap)
6. Runyon Canyon (dogs, freaks and celebrities are welcome – on occasion you might spot someone walking a pet lizard…and free yoga on a lawn every weekday at 6pm and at 10:30am on weekends)
7. Trader Joe’s (it is all about the nuts…and cheap wine…and European beer)
8. ArcLight dome movie theatre (even if they’d raise a ticket price from $14 to $20, I’d still go to enjoy the best sitting in the city and the cool vibe of the crowd…)
9. Laemmle Theatre (one of the oldest foreign movie theatre in the city – old red rugs, ancient uncomfortable seats, no Dolby Digital sound…but who cares if one gets to see the latest cinema paradiso and cinema nuovo from France, Italy, Germany, Russia, China, Africa, Netherlands, Greece…)
For the Things We Love Europe for…Amoureux de l'Europe:
1.5 months of vacation
20 Euro airfare from London to Rome, from Rome to Berlin, from Paris to Athens
Men wear Speedos on the beach
Women were no bra tops on the beach
…and everyone is OK with both of the above
People have natural teeth, one does not feel awkward if his or her teeth are not bleached out…
Italians and Russians call subway – a Metro, Brits – a Tube, Germans – Untergrundbahn, Portuguese - passagem subterranean…
2-hr lunch in France
Wine and grog is OK to drink at lunch in Germany
Absinthe is legal, in some parts of Europe
European flight attendants are actually nice, no peanuts, and free alcohol
You don’t have to smile if you have a stomach ache or you broke up with a boyfriend/girlfriend or you just spilled coffee on your new suit…you are a human being and they do understand it in Europe!
You don’t have to justify your sick days and your vacation time
Europeans actually do take vacation, unlike 40% of the Americans (what’s up with that, are you trying to earn all the money in the world and then have a heart attack at 40 and take all your money to the grave?)
Europeans actually want to see Paris at 16, London at 20, Rome – at 25, Amsterdam – at…as early as possible (they do not believe that you’ve got to travel when you are at the age of having grandchildren…)
Europeans value friends – they actually mean it when they say “I’m here for you whenever you’d need me…” (no bullshit)
Europeans actually do mean when they say at the wedding “Till death till we part” (and not “till you have a slight problem then we part!” 50% of marriages in USA end up in divorce, AboutDivorce.org )
Europeans actually enjoy spending Christmas and/or New Year’s with the family
Europeans do not believe in having “strawberries available year around, 24/7”; Europeans believe in seasonal harvests because they do want to enjoy the strawberries that smell and taste like strawberries and lot like a foam…They do believe that watermelons are at their best in August, strawberries – in June and truffles in the Fall…(savor your food, not just stuff yourself...if you agree, you might enjoy French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano)
When Europeans invite friends over, they don’t just offer chips and salsa, they actually do offer food and drinks (…I’m not talking about the Dutch)
Europeans live to enjoy life; they do not live to work
Europeans not only know the name of their own prime minister, but they also know the names of foreign authors, politicians, the scores of soccer games and Forum One racers, as well as the what languages are spoken in what countries and what flora and fauna inhibit the other countries…
Europeans are not obsessed with showbiz, the only paparazzi that does exist in “high trafficking” European areas of London, Cannes, Portofino and Monaco are for the most part – Americans…(just think of how little you now know of Madonna, Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow, among the others – it’s because they live in Europe now…)
Europeans have other things in life to obsess about: more like about culture, politics, economy, family & friends…(maybe that is why they do not wear the latest jeans from 7 For All Man Kind and do not fancy hair extensions and fake sun tan from the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Simpson...)
Europeans do not discuss their underwear, toilet habits and what they ate for breakfast; they talk about more meaningful things
Europeans do sweat when it’s hot and humid and they do have a bad hair day if they stayed over their friend’s house and didn’t happen to have a blow-dryer in their car (we don’t’ have to be prepared 24/7 for “perfection”, a human should not expect another human to be so damn perfect all the time…)
Europeans marry earlier, they divorce less and they try to avoid babysitters at all cost (perhaps it’s because European grandmothers do baby-sit their grandchildren…)
Europeans do not believe that having bacon, eggs and a toast each morning would shorten their lives (well, perhaps they’d die at 89, not at 90 years old…)
Europeans actually do try to speak a local language when they go to visit a foreign country (French does not ask a Portugese bystander if he/she speaks French, Greek does not ask an Italian if he/she speaks Greek…)
Europeans actually believe and encourage women to have kids, they give them up to 6 months paid maternity leave (Europeans are humans, they do understand that it takes longer than 3 days for a woman to gain the strength back and it takes longer than a week to breastfeed a baby…)
If this is not enough arguments to adore Europe for, don’t hate Europeans for having the most delicious organic food (that’s the only food they have), for driving small cars and parking them on the boardwalk and for turning off their computers at night to conserve the energy. It all makes great sense!
le Cinema. Cinema Truth: Featured Film…You’ve got to love Brits, indeed!
A Death at a Funeral -
If you are a big fan of the British cinema from late 1990s to today and you keep your Love Actually, Notting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Bridget Jones Diary in the most visible and reachable area of your home – then there is no excuse for you to miss the next hot and happening import from the United Kingdom. It is no excuse to miss the familiar faces of the actors who you’ve seen before, not sure in what movie, but definitely in one of those funny and cuddly British films in the last decade or so.
A Death at a Funeral is not only funny, but it’s witty and wicked. Yes, indeed! It is actually – so funny that even your favorite Austin Powers and American Pie would cry over the jealousy. It is not, by no means, a comedy of action – a so-called slapstick comedy in the likes of Charlie Chaplin and Mr. Bean, but it definitely makes you wonder why can’t a monstrous Hollywood machine makes something that makes your fuzzy all insides for days after you see a movie. And it makes you wonder – why we can’t have same friendships and family relationships in this country, called America?
This film also makes you wonder – how can Brits turn a tragic event, such as death, into a light comedy and that not only we love it, but we also forget about the dead. Filmed with all the British aspects that you can imagine: left hand driving, rain, smoking, bad teeth, amazing countryside and proper vocabulary, but, hey – that’s what we love the Brits for! Seriously, I felt like packing up and moving to the country side of Wales…
2 Days in Paris -
In case you have been wondering what happened to Julie Delpy. In case you were feeling a bit nostalgic for Before Sunset and Before Sunrise and questioned the filmmakers whether anything remotely as cute and conversational would ever be made again? Well, wonder no more. Not only Julie Delpy is back on the screen, but she has also brought a new movie she wrote AND directed! And it is almost as “Before Sunset – 3”, only it is more funny and more up to news of recent events. The main character, played by Julie, brings her American boyfriend to meet her family in Paris. Guess what happens next – hitting all the stereotypes about French culture that we had, only this time it is “narrated” by a French herself, does it mean we were right about our stereotypes? I guess you’d never know unless you bring your ass to the theatre and see the film. Promise, pleasure is guaranteed, unless you are a hard-core fan of Batman films.
Nanny’s Diaries -
Much awaited for and much disappointing! I refused to believe the mediocre reviews of the film that is starring Scarlett Johansson and Laura Linney and is filmed in New York. After Devil Wears Prada, it is the next film that was supposed to exuberate the same feeling – pure entertainment around the NY upper class…And as much as I adore Scarlett Johansson and as much as I adore New York, the film does little justice to the book it is based on. I have not read the book, so I can’t swear by it. But what I can say – the film is poorly made; at some moments I almost dropped my Mike and Ike from falling asleep.
A cute graduate from New Jersey comes to NY in search for a career in some “gray suit” accounting firm and ends up realizing that NY has much more to offer – even a bag woman in Central Park looked happier than those in the “gray suit.” And by pure luck, she gets a job on Park Avenue with an upper class family. The stereotypes of the “New York upper east side” socialites are not bad, but they’ve been done before. (Anything original, hello? Watch The Stepford Wives, 2004. I told you, it’s been done before many time over…) And the end was so cheesy that I needed crackers to finish the film.
In a Day -
She does not know him. He comes to her daily sandwich shop to get the same sandwich every single day that he forces her to make just the way he likes it: butter smudged all over the surface of the bread with double cheese take. It drives her crazy, but one day it all changes. At a bus stop, one morning, she gets insulted by a bystander, verbally and physically. She is upset, and he comes into the game at the right moment – at her most vulnerability. And he wants to make the rest of her day beautiful, romantic, adventurous – unforgettable. Little she knows what comes next. In a Day is real, it is touching, it’s emotional…and witty at some moments. And it is very unpredictable.
Fresh Faces to Watch Next on the international cinema scene:
Charlotte Gainsbourg (1971) (a daughter of famous composer and singer, Serge Gainsbourg and a no-less famous icon of the 70s, Ellen Birkin – yes, the one who inspired the Birkin bag…)
You can see her in: Prête-moi ta main (2006) / I Do: How to Get Married and Stay Single, Un reste, l'autre part, L' (2005) / One Stays, the Other Leaves (2004), And They Lived Happily Ever After, Ma femme est une actrice (2001) / My Wife Is an Actress
Kris Marshall (1973) – not only cute, but very talented young British actor. With all the flaws a Brit can come with, but so damn charming who woke up famous the next day Love Actually was release.
Next you can see him in Death at a Funeral. And not only he can play a comedy, he actually did Doctor Zhivago (2002) for British Television.
la Cuisine. Bon Appetite!…or How to Tip a French Waiter:If you are planning a trip to visit the land of lovers and feel comfortable with your lack of French knowledge, but still appear to be savvy with the local food in front of someone you are trying to impress, these tips might be very helpful.
Célébrez la cuisine française ravissante! Or Celebrate the delightful French cuisine!
When confronted by a very French waiter in a restaurant in France, many people have no idea where to start the conversation and how to interpret the menu. Just a few tips from someone who has been in the shoes of an only non-French persona dining elbow-to-elbow with smoking French at a French busy bistro and/or at a family-owned brasserie with a menu handwritten in old-fashioned French! The following will help you avoid ordering crème brûlée as an appetizer or a goat cheese salad with the rooster’s testicles for dessert.
The “not-so-dumb” Instructions:
• Action 1: Expect to see a lunch menu from about noon to 3:00 p.m., and a dinner menu from about 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Many restaurants close between lunch and dinner. French do not snack. You won’t see French sitting on the stairs of the office buildings, or standing at a bus stop or going into a metro station chewing on a bagel, or on potato chips, or sipping a soft drink!
• Action 2: Find out if the restaurant features a "plat du jour," or daily special. If the soup du jour is your choice of the soup. If the fixed price does include a glass of wine and a desert. Otherwise, the price would ring up to the same deal as if ordering from a regular menu list. The most likely side dish – French fries and/or home fries and/or mashed potatoes. Just remember, they do not call fries – French fries, they are just – fries!
Extra tip: Menu is not the same thing as it is in English: le menu in French means a fixed-price meal. For the menu list of all available dishes, look for and/or ask for la carte.• Action 3: Start with an "entrée" if you prefer to order a full meal from the menu. This doesn't mean the same thing as it does in English; it means "appetizer" in French. The main dish is one of the "plats principaux," or main dishes.
Extra tip: All you need to learn are the words for “meat”- la viande, “fish” – le poisson, or vegetarian – “végétarien”! And if you are looking for very French cuisine, depending on a season, look for:
Les escargots – snails (Delicious, I must add!)
Le lapin – rabbit (smoked and/or deeply sautéed and/or oven roasted – pure heavenly treat!)
Le canard- duck (If served with the chestnuts – think of Christmas! But with any side dish – you would not regret the saucy rich duck meat!)
Le grenouilles - legs of frogs (don’t judge before you try – if you can overlook the look of the cooked frogs’ legs on your plate, it does taste like tender chicken! But the feeling of guilt can be hard to overcome and disgust!)
• Action 4: If you prefer veggies to potatoes, make sure you mention that to the waiter and ask him/her specifically for the "légumes" (veggies.)
• Action 5: Always reward yourself with dessert. France is the country of desert! Just think of all the pastries that Marie Antoinette has indulged with and what about her famous line “Let Them Eat the Cake…” Chocolate mousse, Opéra cake, Éclair and Crème Brûlée is a must!
• Action 6: Don’t overlook the power of "fromage" (cheese), ranked from stinky to VERY stinky (Vieux Boulogne*), from white to very blue, from soft to very hard and salty.
*Vieux Boulogne, a soft, yet firm French cheese made from cow’s milk and matured by washing with beer is the world’s smelliest cheese (or as French say about this kind of cheese – “qui pue, qui tue”, “which smells, which kills”)
• Action 7: Before paying, check to see if the menu says "service compris," or service included.
Bonne Appétit!
le Voyage. Travel with style…and a little bit of wit:
Feeling like spicy guacamole and crispy tortilla chips with fried eggs and salsa for your un solo breakfast on a +35 morning in June? Feeling like a shot of tequila at a smoke-filled 3-level dance club with the latest from DJ Tiesto and DJ Surici? Visit the *Uncensored Traveler” corner…and more
Paparazzi on the loose…Why We Love...:
London
Tokyo
Paris
Cannes
Berlin
New York
Sweeden
Moscow
Amsterdam
Provence (France)
Rome
Milan
Hamburg
Mykonos
New Delhi
Athens
*Uncensored Traveler. A un solo trip to Mexico: Viva Amigos, Ensenada
If you are looking for an excuse to shoot some tequila at noon and forget about a non-meat, non-spice diet – there is a way to do it. Head to Mexico, Hola Amigos!
There is always an option to get drunk and end up partying all night waking up under a palm tree in the middle of yours and someone else’s vomit – this is Cancun. Cheap, close and always “young at heart”! But if you are a bit over 18, but not yet an old fart and your idea of Mexico is not all about tequila and college girls and boys “gone wild”, then you might want to head to Ensenada, which is in Baja region and is about 1.5-hours drive from the borders of San Diego (Calif.) But plans fly there as well.
Ensenada is not the most exciting place to be (no lying here, I don’t get commissions from a tour agent,) but it is charming and it offers all the “Mexican” you might need and – everything is inexpensive: fresh seafood, as Ensenada is the home of one of the largest sea ports in Mexico, delicious high quality rich alcoholic drinks (they are not cheap for extra fruit, extra shot and a larger size of a glass), friendly locals and patrons, restaurant diversity and a few good bars and clubs.
Ensenada is attractive for its very down-to-earth cultural flavor; it’s not an obvious touristy place. And they are always happy to upgrade you to a better room at a hotel/resort, to a better table at a restaurant and even to a better set of sauces, which did not spend too much time under the sun and which were not besieged by local insects.
The town does not look as appealing as Acapulco and Puerto Vallarta, let’s just clear this out, but as you make your way, in a car, from the borders of California to Ensenada, you are passing breathtaking views of the Pacific ocean, the gigantic statue of Jesus Christ greeting the visitors and locals, the colorful colonial homes, country haciendas and adobe ranches and beach houses in hacienda-style and the yellowish burnt hills. Moreover, nothing is as nice as to catch a break from the drive by stopping at a local café, somewhere around Puerto Nuevo in Rosarito, and indulge in the local specialty - La langosta de Puerto Nuevo (local gigantic lobster), sautéed in butter, served with beans, rice and most deliciously in-house handmade then baked and buttered soft tortillas. And as you sip your margarita on a terrace overlooking the ocean, a brigade of amigos make the best of your meal, playing traditional ranchera and mariachi - a bit loud at time, but so damn charming and entertaining.
Once you are at your final destination and you are about to leave for the walk in the city, don’t forget to fuel with a powerful breakfast, fried eggs with Huevos Rancheros, made out of onions, corn tortillas, scallion, roasted red pepper, black beans, cheese, salsa, garlic and fresh cilantro. This is a must breakfast, even if it is over 100 F / 30 C degrees outside, because nothing would tire you more than making your way through the dusty roads, crowded with old trucks and uncompromising local drivers and then walking up and down the streets in the heat searching for that perfect sombrero or a handmade wooden Chihuahua. Bargaining is also energy-consuming, and do bargain, even at the stores – at the end they do give up and the price for a delicate handcrafted dress changes from $40 to $25.
Mexico is not the place to skip lunch. No matter how tired and sweaty you are, walk into a restaurant, all of which have air-conditioning, and order fresky Guacamole dip, Carpacho mexicano (tender thin slices of marinated beef sirloin,) Empanadas de atún (puff pastry with tuna fish and eggem) for an appetizer and a typical entrée of Paella (Spanish rice with chicken bits, seafood, shrimps, fresh vegetable) or Pato con chile y naranja (chicken legs with chilli and orange sauce, fruit rice.) Don’t forget to flush it with the Mexican beer (Pina Colada is an option for the ladies…)
After a quick nap and a dip in the pool and/or in the ocean, check out the local dance clubs, which, to your surprise, might offer some very cool dance bits from very happening International DJs. Either way, night life is interesting for people watching – Mexican boys and girls do know how to party hard, but the drawback is that they do allow to smoke inside and it gets too intoxicating and stuffy.
Ensenada “Must-Dos”:1. Fisherman Market (for lunch…fish tacos and geviche, a raw seafood mixture of mackerel, barracuda, tuna, black drum, tilapia or sea bass, shrimp, octopus and oysters merely mingling with minced veggies that has been “cooked” in lime and other citrus – I pity the ones who have seafood allergies, this dish is to die for!) is a must, served with local hot chili sauces – it is all about the peppers, Cayenne, Jalapeño, Habanero or Chipotles (smoked jalapeños)
2. Fisherman Market (for dinner…anything from the market – a daily catch of a squid, scallops, shrimp…)
3. Fisherman Market (for street artists handwork…engrave your name on a handmade thread bracelet)
4. Shopping for handmade goodies and artwork: from authentic Mexican peasant dresses to sombreros, from tequila leather cases to icons…
Water sports: everything for snorkeling to jet skiing.
“The Essentials” to Bring:
1. Friends
2. Swimsuit & sun block (Aloe for burns, which you would not be able to avoid)
3. Pocket money (cash)
4. Camera
5. Sandals & keds
Bonus:
If you are planning on traveling within Europe, use the local deals on
http://www.ryanair.com/ and
http://www.easyjet.com/. Don’t even bother with a EuroPass unless you are planning on taking a train more than 20 times within a month.
Tip of the day:If you are planning on going to UK, book an airfare from USA to Dublin, Ireland and then use local airlines to go from Dublin to London (1 hour flight). It will cost you 1.5 less than a direct flight.
A thought of the day…Just a Thought:
“…A thought that we are living in the society where someone would rather leave millions of dollars after the death to a puddle rather than to the grandchildren…”
Editor's Note: 
The summer has arrived to ever-and-always sunny Los Angeles. And even though I’m two months late to respond to the summer invasion, not to mention to comment on the Cannes Film Festival 2007, I know I have my dedicated readers who still would like me to write about it, even when I missed my deadlines!
The colorful summery dresses, bright shadows – pink, white, green and sandals dominate all day and even evening attire. The proud owners of convertibles keep the car roofs open at all times. And making a reservation at an open-air patio for a dinner became a Mission Impossible. The sunny residents of Los Angeles are privileged to feel like they are being on vacation at all times: no expensive vocational escapes and weekend getaways are needed when there are at least eight local public beaches to choose from, not including private beaches and resorts around the area. Among the most popular beaches are (see pictures below): Dockweiler Beach, El Matador Beach, Redondo Beach, Santa Monica Beach, Venice Beach, Zuma Beach and Paradise Cove. But if you are really up for a good rollerblading / biking / jogging adventure, park north of Santa Monica promenade, somewhere in between Malibu and Santa Monica and take advantage of the beach biking path all the way to the Venice canals. On your way, not only you will see old women in spandex dancing to the hip hop beats on the four-wheel rollerblades, but you will also see the doped up crowds of hippy Venice beach residents listening to reggae grooves of local bands and hyped up crowds of youngsters in white bikinis, drinking margaritas next to the volleyball playgrounds, watching ripped bodies of hot surfers….
And please DO get jelous...!
On the other note: skin exposure to the sun rays comes with its own fears and paranoia – feeling conscious of the not-so-beach-perfect body in the town of paparazzi and tough judges of fashion and beauty-&-image-obsessed crowds – especially in hot spots of Brentwood, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Santa Monica and Malibu. The tanning salons become overcrowded with celebrities and Jessica Simpson’s-wanna-bees starving for this just perfect tan that will not only make them look sun-kissed and sexy but would also slim them down (an optical illusion) by ½ size – the key "ingredient" of all current diets and exercises. And I just keep drinking my strawberry-kiwi smoothie at the Sunset’s Coffee Bean watching restless crowds of paparazzi in and around Il Sole, hoping to get a snapshot of Jennifer Aniston and Lindsey Lohan…
Lifestyle and Fashion magazines are going ballistic on who out-advices who on latest diet plans to get ready for the beach season. Please pass me saffron to cover my cellulite – more and more saffrons are seen around. And celebrities are being watched close, under a microscope, with paparazzi camping outside their villas in Bel-Air, Brentwood, Malibu and Los Feliz. Just to take at least one shot of a celebrity's bare skin and blow it up in magazines to show that they are just like us – with a bit of cellulite. That they are just like us – with an old pedicure. That they are just like us – with a wrong shadow of a self-applied tan lotion. Do we care? . . . Not really.
All I can say – I'm back with my comments and a bit of the inside-information on Cannes 2007, Hollywood, perks of having summer in Los Angeles, how it is to work for a film producer, must-see films, in and about Catalina Island and a bit of fun dating in Tinseltown...! This issue is a bit on a French side, it just happened to be this way – did not do it on purpose, I promise!
In and around Venice Beach:
And only in Los Angeles...such a variety...on the beach:
Beaches...:
Malibu
Paradise Cove
Zuma Beach
Dockweiler Beach
El Matador Beach
